FV601 (R.I.P.) Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Thought it was Ricky Gervais with a tash :roll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Ok oldies but goodies. The Fortunes, Marmalade, Barron nights, Tremolos. Me and a mate once kept Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart in drink one night. They hadn't been paid. Now Annie Lennox. Anyone heard the phrase Burglars Dog. I got fined £50 for being shot at. Three rounds hit the watch tower I was in. I was on the floor in a second. Looking for a white hanky to tie to my SLR. Sarn't comes out. Shouts can you see the gunflashes. I'm not f***ing looking I reply. Well get up and have a look..................................... £50 march out :? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toner Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 I've been in an TV advert for a high street chemist, Been to a couple of premieres and chased a soap star for trespassing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snapper Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 I once licked Dusty Springfield's ice cream. I was five, it was 1964...so hold any dodgy thoughts. Got myself photographed with the real FIFA World Cup last summer (me and fifty others). It was a surreal experience. The security were bonkers and one of them hit Ian Wright for touching it. Only winners can touch it. Yeh, right. Football? Who gives a monkeys....march out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gareth Coe Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 I once licked Dusty Springfield's ice cream. ...erm, is that some kind of code? :? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snapper Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 No...smutty. I was five. My dad had taken me to see Hard Days Night at the the Kensington Odeon in London. When we came we walked over to Kensington gardens for some reason and there was Dusty and a lady friend with a big 99. My dad wanted her autograph, so I went to ask her. She told me not to lick her ice cream. But i was five... I've still got the autograph on a film magazine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlienFTM Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 I got fined £50 for being shot at. Three rounds hit the watch tower I was in. I was on the floor in a second. Looking for a white hanky to tie to my SLR. Sarn't comes out. Shouts can you see the gunflashes. I'm not f***ing looking I reply. Well get up and have a look..................................... £50 march out :? Classic! I remembered another. One first Thursday evening of the month, must have been about 1988 and as ever it was Sergeants' Mess meeting night. RSM "The PMC will read out the minutes of the last Mess meeting." PMC "The minutes of the Mess meeting held <the previous month> ..." RSM "Comments arising from the minutes of the last Mess meeting ..." he made his own observations. "A show of hands that this is a true record of the last Mess meeting. All those in favour? Anyone against? Passed. Carried." Understand that, because the RSM had conducted the last Mess meeting and he was conducting this one, and the PMC wouldn't dare write up inaccurate minutes thereof, notice how, in the last quotation, there were no ellipses. This is because the speed you just read that quotation is the speed the RSM spoke it. At the word of command "All those in favour," a hundred hands shots in the air without a flicker of hesitation. Nobody would dare respond to "Anyone against?" so the hands came back down very quickly, knowing just how quickly the RSM would ask. Who says there is no democracy in the Sergeants' Mess? On to Mess business for this month. A novel one came up. The RSM started, "I have received a letter from HQ SE Dist. It came originally from Steven Spielberg. He is filming a third Indiana Jones film and needs a crowd of Nazi storm troopers. Because of the military nature of the task and the level of military control that will be required during filming, he had approached HMG with a request for soldiers to act as extras. The filming will take place at night. It will involve a mass of storm troopers burning and looting the streets of Berlin. No rape scenes are planned. Busses will leave here at 1600 hours on the day, kit issue and filming will take place overnight and volunteers will be returned here the following morning in time for work. Volunteers will receive £40 cash in hand for their services." I have to point out that as a Band 5 Sergeant Military Accountant Programmer, I only grossed £33 per day. Clearly storm trooper was the trade to be in. Following morning I phoned the RSM and volunteered. He told me to report to the QM, where there was a checklist provided by Mr Spielberg. Obviously there wouldn't be the time on the night for all these extras to roll up at the studio and get measured for and issued with kit, so individual units collated the information and sent it off. Beret size (for Stahlhelm). Boot size (for Marschstiefel). Inside leg, height, weight, etc etc. Cometh the day and I had an overnight bag packed. At lunchtime I got a call to the gym for a briefing. Excited I got down there, only to learn that the WHOLE of UKLF had volunteered and the project was hugely oversubscribed. Since the demographic profiles of the Computer Centre and Command Pay Office were all wrong (shiny-bottomed senior ranks), we were dropped en masse. I never did get to be a storm trooper. And I have never spoken to Spielberg since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 :rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick W Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 Saw Alvin Stardust on Saturday night on stage and he sang Coochee-coo :afro: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giz56 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 Mine has to be metting charley boorman he seemed quite a down to earth chap anyway... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Johns Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Ho hum slapped wrist and cough up £50 for doing a U turn in the wrong place, Your being watched !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joris Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Johns Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 All donations gratefully received :cry: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Been sworn at by Princess Anne. Seen Jane LaPortier's undies. Mine was the Dodge on the BBC parading down the Mall on VE/VJ day 2005. Part of the only non military team to fire an official 21 gun salute for HM the Queen in Jersey 2005. Once reassured a man his missing wife would turn up. She did, dead in the boot of a burnt out car. He's now doing time. :oops: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosie Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Been sworn at by Princess Anne. Seen Jane LaPortier's undies. Mine was the Dodge on the BBC parading down the Mall on VE/VJ day 2005. Part of the only non military team to fire an official 21 gun salute for HM the Queen in Jersey 2005. Once reassured a man his missing wife would turn up. the booShe did, dead in t of a burnt out car. He's now doing time. :oops: :-o :-o :-o blimey oh riley! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Yep Rosemary, If I screw up I do so in style :roll: I used to do film and TV work with horses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Daymond Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Are those top shelf movies? :oops: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Well I had dealings with Force 10 from Navarone, Neither the sea nor the sky, Brideshead re-vistited, Lady Jane and some of the late Monty Pythons. Never the star but some good ;laughs. Best quote from a mate of mine, bearing in mind we were on a film set 'You know when the director said 'Follow the Queen' I got totally confused' Mostly second unit stuff but that's where the fun is. If you do get an offer go for it, but if it includes a vehicle or a horse read the small print and don't be afraid to tell the Director to piss off, if they get to ambitious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 Shaking the hand of Johnson Beharry VC. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 Now there is guy the young should emulate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 Now there is guy the young should emulate. Indeed a example of someone who made an effort to escape his negative lifestyle/background and made something of himself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Hayward Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 My claim to fame is holding up two armed German Policemen with a rifle when I ran out of a bush and stopped their police 4x4 at night on a lonely country road! It certainly made their eyes bulge with me in their headlights in the middle of the road. Luckily they recognised a British soldier's uniform when they saw one, as I fear I would have been shot! I was on guard at a cross roads and mistook their vehicle for one of our own. They had not seen any British Army searchlight units on exercise before so had come down a track to have a look, probably as they were bored with patrolling their part of NW Germany where nothing ever happens! My second claim to fame is scoring a goal at Wembley stadium (the old one) but the match only lasted a short while before the groundsman kicked us off! Actually I was there to assist with one of several Military Band Extravaganzas that were held there every two years (up to 1984 I think) and in between rehearsals me and a few TA soldiers took the time to invade the pitch and have a kick about. Where we found a ball I do not know but it was good fun to be on that famous pitch. I think the groundsman took exception to some of us digging up bits of turf as souvenirs - sadly no eBay in those days nor any reason to believe the place would EVER be demolished! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snapper Posted August 27, 2007 Share Posted August 27, 2007 Good stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
da bomb Posted September 10, 2007 Share Posted September 10, 2007 Had the front number plate off of the pope-mobile! Made a cup of tea for Kate Adie (TV Journalist), she turned up off an RAF aircraft late at night and was waiting for the C.O., had a natter then told her to bugger off as she attracts incoming fire! Made Sir Nicholas Soames the then secretary to the minister for defence, make a fast exit when he asked me about how i felt about the deployment i was on... i told him that he had asked me a very similar question on two other visits to deployments at other locations/theatres prior to this one! His rather nice P.A. who was following on told me "Your a very naughty boy" raised my morale! phwoar!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazz Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 I've had lunch with the Queen and Prince Phillip, Tony and Cherie Blair :police:(200TH Anniversary of Yeomanry at Windsor) Met Princess Margaret when she was Colonel in Chief, Major General The Duke Of Westminister (ex CO QOY). Same driving course as Capt Mark Phillips at Bovington, famous as reported as signalling to turn right and then turned left in a CVRT. Oh happy days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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