Jack Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 - I am known as being funny and here is my latest joke :coffee: I got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but the ba*tards talked me out of it. :rofl::rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Ok, its funny. So who told you that joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodge Deep Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 *tumbleweed* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessie The Jeep Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Please join me in a minutes silence for that one........................................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daz76 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 OHDEAROHDEAROHDEAR.....:n00b::rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiketheBike Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Oh dear...here is another stupid joke: A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said 'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humor, but we have heard that people in Abu Dhabi Do" or I spent five minutes fixing a broken clock yesterday. At least I think it was five minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I live on a uninhabited island..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N.O.S. Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Jack went to the doctor. Jack: "Doctor, one minute I think I'm a 9 x 9, the next minute I think I'm a small wall officer's. Can you pescribe something for this?" Doctor: "You need a relaxant". Jack: "Why would I need a relaxant?" Doctor: "Because, Jack - you're too tense" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
griff66 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 i phoned up the swine flu hotline ,all i got was crackling !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I got this new deoderant! The istructions said 'Remove lid, and push up bottom! I can hardly walk but when I 'Breack Wind' (thinking of mods there!) The room smells lovley!:computerrage: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Posted December 3, 2009 Author Share Posted December 3, 2009 Please join me in a minutes silence for that one........................................ Steve was that matter with you - my joke was well funny!!!!:computerrage: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Funny as in 'Funny , peculiar?:??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Barrell Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I had that swine flu, after treatment the doctor said I now had gammon flu...... it seems I was cured....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Enough please enough ... OK I confess, Whatever it is I did it!! :shake::shake::shake::shake: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodge Deep Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Doctor I keep thinking I'm a werewolf Are you feeling okay at the moment? Oh yes I'm fine nooooooooooooooo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0ooo00000o0o0o0o0o0o0w! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Mary had a litle lamb. The Doctor had a fit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woa2 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Now then, you know the rules - the jokes must be MV related..... Got to be a joke about Land-Rovers somewhere, nothing derogatory as people like them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
private mw Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 :??? :nono: 6 biscuits less Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chevpol Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Enough please enough ... OK I confess, Whatever it is I did it!! :shake::shake::shake::shake: has Sqt Detritus been asking you questions again mate? Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chevpol Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I phoned the samaritans last week, got put through to the Pakistan Branch, when I said I was feeling suicidal, they got excited and asked if I could fly a plane.......... Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chevpol Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Mary had a little lamb, some gravy and mint sauce..... Or, Mary had a little lamb, she kept it in a bucket, she also had a little dog who kept on trying to................................................................................................... take it out of it Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I went to the doctor who said I was insane. I demanded the right to a second opinion. OK, said the Doctor; You're also an as*hole... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessie The Jeep Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 A man went to the Doctors about getting an unsightly mole removed. The doc said "It shouldn't be a problem, it's a simple proceedure" So a few days later, the man went in for surgery. After he came out, he went back to the doctor to check up on how the proceedure had gone. The doc said, "We removed the mole without any problems, but the RSPCA want a word with you!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodge Deep Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 THE HOUSEWIFE'S DREAM My Saucepans have all been surrendered, The teapot is gone from the hob, The colander's leaving the cabbage For a very much different job. So now, when I hear on the wireless Of Hurricanes showing their mettle, I see, in a vision before me, A Dornier being chased by my kettle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daz76 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Mary had a little lamb, she also had a bear I never saw her little lamb, but loved to see her bear :sweat: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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