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New Weapon banned from Canvey Island school

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Breaking news tonight on local TV:

 

In Canvey Island a school has just decreed that triangular shaped flapjacks are dangerous and have banned them - the school canteen which makes them has to cut the slabs into squares from now on. This as a result of a pupil being sent home with a sore eye - after being hit by one during a food fight.

 

Now how about banning the throwing of *&^%$$£ food instead? Alternatively, how can you de-activate a flapjack?

 

The world has gone mad - it's official banana-gif.19222

Edited by N.O.S.

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Unless the Flapjack is completly coloured red , green , blue or yellow. And any party eating them wears saftey goggles, body armour and protective head gear. You know I wonder how I survived childhood. :nut:

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Alternatively, how can you de-activate a flapjack?

 

Bite the corners off? or maybe unscrew the detonator?

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Obviously a weapon the MOD need to consider as part of its cost saving strategy, especially if AlQuida consider it to be offensive to use it against them!

 

A weapon of the future then?

 

D&J

 

 

 

Breaking news tonight on local TV:

 

In Canvey Island a school has just decreed that triangular shaped flapjacks are dangerous and have banned them - the school canteen which makes them has to cut the slabs into squares from now on. This as a result of a pupil being sent home with a sore eye - after being hit by one during a food fight.

 

Now how about banning the throwing of *&^%$$£ food instead? Alternatively, how can you de-activate a flapjack?

 

The world has gone mad - it's official banana-gif.19222

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Aha!! Canvey island ... Born there and lived there for 47 years..... Halcyon days ... Collecting .50 cals from the crashed Flying Fortress and swapping them at school, searching through the wrecks of scrapped MTBs to find cannon shells............ ( They do make quite a bang..)

playing soldiers on the old landing craft and carrying bits of Messerschmitt 109 home.

 

yes good old days. What would they make of it now..?

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Triangular shaped flapjacks; still safer than biscuits brown AB

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Obviously a weapon the MOD need to consider as part of its cost saving strategy, especially if AlQuida consider it to be offensive to use it against them!

 

A weapon of the future then?

 

D&J

 

Make it out of PORK :-D

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Aha!! Canvey island ... Born there and lived there for 47 years..... Halcyon days ... Collecting .50 cals from the crashed Flying Fortress and swapping them at school, searching through the wrecks of scrapped MTBs to find cannon shells............ ( They do make quite a bang..)

playing soldiers on the old landing craft and carrying bits of Messerschmitt 109 home.

 

yes good old days. What would they make of it now..?

 

 

As the Armstrong & Miller airmen might say: All that live bullet stuff is like so lame - show us your flapjack scars! :D

Edited by N.O.S.

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Dangerous places those canteens, one lunchtime in a place I worked at in the 60s, some young oik threw a screwed up foil wrapper off a chocolate bar at a girl in the works canteen, from a couple of those long tables away it hit her on the temple, and unbelievably knocked her clean out!

 

There was a bit of a flap until she woke up, but no one sued and foil wasn't banned from the premises..

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Triangular shaped flapjacks; still safer than biscuits brown AB

 

Place pakets 2 (Two) in sock , man's , green wool. Then beat anything in your path to death!:-D

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School grub must be bad if they thought it was a better idea to use it as a frisbee[/quote ]I tried making some Turkish Delight once! :blush: My old Greyhound used as a denta stick for a week.

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so, do they use knives and forks at lunch, biros to write- i could go on but really whats the point. Its the behaviour not the flapjack.:nut:

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As the Armstrong & Miller airmen might say: All that live bullet stuff is like so lame - show us your flapjack scars! :D

Sorry sir no flapjack wounds to report, but I have got a scar by my eye where I got hit by a low flying cockle.

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Sorry sir no flapjack wounds to report, but I have got a scar by my eye where I got hit by a low flying cockle.

 

:D

 

The SUN even got their weapons consultant Andy McNab to appraise the capabilities of the triangular flapjack - he doesn't see it as a front line SAS weapon anytime soon :rofl:

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:D

 

The SUN even got their weapons consultant Andy McNab to appraise the capabilities of the triangular flapjack - he doesn't see it as a front line SAS weapon anytime soon :rofl:

 

So its a chemical weapon then

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Gill, the headteacher is a friend of ours, think she in for a bit of stick down the pub Friday night :cool2:

 

Gill, well deserved..

non-sense.JPG

Edited by Marmite!!

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think she in for a bit of stick down the pub Friday night :cool2:

 

 

 

Make sure it's not a pointed stick, could have somebody's eye out......

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Dangerous places those canteens, one lunchtime in a place I worked at in the 60s, some young oik threw a screwed up foil wrapper off a chocolate bar at a girl in the works canteen, from a couple of those long tables away it hit her on the temple, and unbelievably knocked her clean out!

 

There was a bit of a flap until she woke up, but no one sued and foil wasn't banned from the premises..

 

That's because it was a flap and not a flapjack...

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Dangerous places those canteens, one lunchtime in a place I worked at in the 60s, some young oik threw a screwed up foil wrapper off a chocolate bar at a girl in the works canteen, from a couple of those long tables away it hit her on the temple, and unbelievably knocked her clean out!

 

There was a bit of a flap until she woke up, but no one sued and foil wasn't banned from the premises..

 

Blimey, how big was the chocolate bar if the wrapper had enough mass to do that?

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We were using different thing.The old fashioned chewed paper in a pen (I made a dubbel barrel one).

Or a mini catapult to shoot lead BB's or my favourite;Brown elastic band to shoot either a folded magic marker.

Or fold paper a few times over, then fold in a boomerang shape and reenforce it with scotch tape.

If you hit someone they will jump quite high.

 

How did we survive school...

 

Maybe the safest way is to ban physical schools and teach them online....better yet ban all human interaction.

 

Sorry to be politically incorrect but; why does EVERYTHING has to be moron proof?

 

Don't dry your pet in a microwave.

Don't drive your motorhome on cruise control so you can leave the driverseat to make some tea.

Don't wear a gasmask with the tube stuck in your bum while wearing womans clothing in your cellar (Yes,that actually happened, he didn't survive).

 

 

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

OK, I'll put on the kettle for some tea now and calm down.

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....

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

OK, I'll put on the kettle for some tea now and calm down.

 

for goodness sake, Enigma - BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU'RE UP TO WITH THAT KETTLE !!!!!!!!!

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As for the kettle , definite NO,NO! Remeber Mc Donald's were succesfully sued when someone poured Coffe over thier leg! They had not expected it to be Hot! That's why all the caution maybe hot labels over everything, including the Milkshakes!

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That's because it was a flap and not a flapjack...

 

:yay::D I was wondering who would pick up on that!

 

Blimey, how big was the chocolate bar if the wrapper had enough mass to do that?

 

That's the strange thing, it was just a normal wrapper, hard to imagine how it even reached her, maybe she had some goat genes in her.......

 

[video=youtube_share;we9_CdNPuJg]

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