Mechanical mishaps

[hardyferret]

Whilst thinking of some of the bloody stupid things I have got involved in with motors of various types over the years I thought it might be interesting to see if anyone else is as daft

 

So I'll own up...

 

Younger and very unwisely, I decided with a friend ( who has since vanished) to pick up an old Sherpa van with rotten body but OVERDRIVE.

The older ones will smile when I say my own van too was a Sherpa ex Postman Pat with that mighty 1800 diesel :whistle:

The free Sherpa was in Oakhampton Devon, so off we went in a cloud of 32sec oil :-o and a very dubious unbraked 2 wheeled car trailer

We arrived swiftly :-D and having forgotten the chain block (borrowed) to pull Sherpa 2 on Sherpa 1 trailer, so with no little amount of effort heave, push it up on the trailer and watch it gracefully traverse the trailer deck stopping nicely in the back of Sherpa 1 :oops:

Well the back doors on Sherpa 2 were better honest..

Anyway after roping down and saying our fairwells we departed.

The journey was good music provided by Suggs and Buster bloodvessel with Golden virginia obscuring our view

Then Doug remarked, are we coming back thru Chiddock, you know with the b-stard big hill? It was only a couple of miles, I had no choice?

Those who don't know Dorset Chiddock not far from Lyme Regis has an infamous hill, with a run off , and speed cameras.

Back then 2 loonies in postman pat's finest, with a very fine load of tat in tow would have boosted the revenue of Dorset Constabulary considerably.

As the mighty Sherpa increased in speed and noise, along with Doug's swearing and threats to my well being, we not so much passed thru Chiddock as did a passible imitation of a low flying bombing run, as Sherpa 2 back door had opened and the various spares :? were escaping.

I will always wonder at the old boy stood by the side of the road as we streaked past scattering nuts, bolts ignition coil etc and the shower of sparks of the half detached metal framed lighting board casualty to a pot hole near the top of the hill.

If I remember rightly the Sherpa speedo went up to 70 :schocked: :schocked:, and being centrally mounted was framed nicely for me to see the needle hard on the stop :shake:

 

We stopped up the road in a side lane, literally shaking Doug still swearing and nearly crying.

A very long detour was taken home.......................

 

The thought now frightens me but a little smile ;-)

 

HF :-D

[N.O.S.]

:shake: :shake: :shake:

If there is enough interest shown, HF, I'd certainly be up for one copy of your book of "HF's Mad Motoring Tales Collective", subject to price of course. :whistle:

 

I don't think I could touch that tale for insanity, however I too have been afflicted by LTTBD syndrome (loss through the back doors):

 

I was returning with my ex Electricity Board minivan from a track dismantling jolly at Harlaxton, Lincs for my local railway preservation society, the freight in the back was a whole load of crowbars and big stuff, 2 budding platelayers and a set of cutting gear.

 

The mini's acceleration was still not bad, and this coupled with a run at steepish hill allowed the oxygen bottle to have a slight disagreement with one the rear doors. The bottle won and gained its freedom onto the highway at about 40mph. Those things bounce well you know.....

 

We all just laughed a lot, backed up, reloaded and went on our way. Not a care.

Of course I'm a bit more :banana: :banana: now...

[Tony B]

I was working, driving my little bus through Lewisham. All day I had been complaing of an odd vibration. Each time i had been told Enginners (****&^%) say carry on, the more I complained the more I was told carry on the engineers say that they decide if a vehicle is fit to drive. Finally in the middle of a very narrow road, with passengers on board an almighty bang!!

Followed by a dead grinding stop. A little man walking along behind stepped into the road and picked up an object. He then walked up the doors and said to me' Here mate, is this important, it just fell out the back', and held up the UJ yoke. I had a job to trying to explain to him yes it was actually while cracking up with laughter.

[Simon Daymond]

many years ago, my mate decided he wanted a mini. We found a really cheap one, and drove to collect it with the aid of his dad's landrover which he had borrowed.

 

The mini was a non-runner, had no seats, and all the front panels were absent. All it was missing were chickens.

 

We found the drivers seat and bolted it in, but realised we had forgotten the tow rope for the journey home. We did however have a chain, which we thought would be better anyway. My mate fastened the chain to the mini, and we set off.

 

Afterwards, it transpired that the chain had a lifting hook on the end, and my mate had secured the chain by simply wrapping in once around the front subframe, then hooked it to itself. This was great until the first time he braked, the chain slackened, then when he set off it simply unwound from the subframe and the mini was cast adrift, I can see him now accelerating into the distance with the chain bouncing along behind him.

 

That was just the start, we were travelling at about 30mph, the speedo worked ! I had no brakes, little experience and we were approaching a downward slope. I can remember clearly the amazed expression of the woman motorist who was passing in the opposite direction as I hurtled past in the half mini.

 

Seeing the approaching slope I thought I would just ride it out, hoping that the mini would find an uphill or level piece of road eventually, however, my dosey mate, finally realised I was missing, and had decided to stop. I saw him as I rounded the bend, and with little chance of escaping the solid back of the landrover, I steered up onto the grass banking, the mini was wrecked, as I impacted the grass, my tool box, which was at my side open from fastening the seat into the mini, emptied its' contents through the windscreen, the n/s front wheel bent back into the passenger door, and a rock smashed the front of the engine.

 

Luckily, the mini's seatbelts were still fitted, and I had had the good sense to wear it. We left it at the side of the road, well embedded in the banking actually :whistle: , we went back later that night and took it home on a trailer, it later went for scrap.

 

 

I could fill a book with all the scrapes cock ups etc I 've had over the years, like the time my brother and I nearly demolished the traffic lights in a local town to us :whistle: , towing a bus, and he got too close, or the time when we put a hole in the militant radiator with the tow bar shunting the same bus later that night. My favourite though, was when another friend, pushed his mini for nearly two miles trying to bump start it after a home DIY service, only to discover that he'd left the rotor arm off :-)

[Tony B]

Wonder is guys we ever survived :dunno: Oh look whose wheel is that overtakin.......... Opps. :-D

[Rick W]

HF, I know that hill well!

[Tony B]

Hells bells mate! how many pairs of pants did you go through? Your guardian angel must have been on double bank holiday overtime. :schocked: :shake:

[ArtistsRifles]

On exercise up in Scotland with the Mk 1 Militant Tippers muggins here drew the short straw and got the job of co-driver to a seconded officer.

Royal Engineers guy IIRC.

 

Typical Rupert - thought he knew it all and proceeded to try and drive the Milly like an RL engendering much profanity from the nearside seat and a short sharp course in double declutching. Thought he'd got it - till we came to a very steep hill downwards and he changed down as we crested the ridge and started the descent.. Needless to say he missed the gear... :schocked: We did that trip down in neutral, through some rather nasty twisty bends, with the hand throuttle set on max to keep the compressor churning out air and two of us hauling on the steering wheel........ :schocked: :shake:

 

On reaching the bottom differences in rank went out the window just a tad faster than this idiots backside went out the drivers door. Spent the rest of the exercise doing all the driving, sans co-driver of any sort as the Rupert got RTU'd for the cock-up..... :dunno:

[abn deuce]

Seems this thread will be well used as each has had some near death experience , some nearer than others!!!!!As I read some time ago that experience is a tough teacher she TESTS before she teaches!!!!!

[Grasshopper]

I recall once towing a dead bus out of our shed with my shiny (brand new at the time) Land Rover 90. It was about to be taken away for scrap (the bus that is...), so had been stripped of all mechanics, including brakes. I took the precaution of towing it with a long strap, "just in case".

 

A collegue was standing nearby with many large bits of wood to act as chocks, due to the slight downhill nature of the yard and the lack of brakes. Some had already been placed along the intended route through the yard too.....

 

The laws of phsics did not feel like being defied that day, and the bus proceeded to slowly chase my land rover down the yard, and over all the blocks of wood intended to stop it. The poor guy steering (power steering not working) managed to turn it into a vacant space, glancing of another bus and coming to a stop when it hit the armco at the edge of the yard. Fortunately I was able to get out of the way in the 90 due to having such a long tow strap on it.

 

All the preperation in the world can sometimes not prevent the inevitable. When you can see what may go wrong with a "cunning plan", it usually will.

 

Also had a similar experiance being towed down another yard, this time steering a Matador which was being towed by a 101. Fortunately the driver noticed my lack of stopping ability and kept going.

 

[AlienFTM]

It was pay at the Pay Office 12 Armd Wksp REME and the Unit Imprest Account needed some cash. "Corporal Alien, get the Admin Officer to sign this cheque, sign out a vehicle and head off down to the commerzbank in town to cash the cheque."

 

I had the forethought to phone MT BEFORE I took the cheque to the Admin Officer. "A couple of Craftsmen have just finished servicing a nice little lightweight. You can take that."

 

The cheque signed, I walked over to MT and collected the Land Rover. I jumped in and drove off in my take-no-prisoners style, out of the gate and down the hill toward downtown Osnabruck. As I motored down the hill I was surprised to see a wheel go rolling past me. The bad news it was a Land Rover wheel. clunk, clunk, clunk as the wheel hub grounded.

 

The two dozy little <expletive deleted>s had not reattached the wheel nuts.

 

I had to tap the boards in front of the Workshop 2IC so that justice could be seen to be done. I got a slapped wrist, suspended for three months and quietly forgotten for having driven a vehicle in an unroadworthy condition.

 

I did smile when Part 2 Orders passed through my possession (I administered MT Platoon) showing the punishment of the two guilty barstewards for putting the life of their glorious Military Accountant on the line made me feel a lot better.

[Bazz]

 

 

I can remember doing my H licence at Tidworth, mate in the driving seat of Scorpion, me in gnrs seat S/Sgt Cooper comding. Left Tidworth for Salisbury, turned left onto main road and accelerated, all of a sudden big bang,and veh slewed to right across the road. What had happened was the rhs sprocket had failed, travelled along run of track. entered windscreen of Merc travelling a bit close behind embedding itself into the backrest of the rhs seat, the lucky thing is that it was a LHD car. The driver ex squaddie couldn't see the funny side.

 

Barry.

[Tony B]

What has to be the most grizzily I have ever come across was at Savernake some years ago. A Morris 1000 pickup truck with 3 men in two front one back. For those who don't know the road goes up and down 3 steep hills then narrows and bears right over a bridge crossing the Kennet and Avon canal. The truck had come down the hill missed the turn and hit the abutment. Unfortunatley there was a roll of roofing lead in the back, and inertia took over. I spread my last 3 weeks meals over most of Wiltshire.

[Joris]

Keep the stories comming, I love them (execept for Tony Bs most recent one)

[N.O.S.]

I don't think I could touch that tale for insanity

 

 

Thinking about it, I might be able to........

 

The workshop is a 36ft wide Romney with 18ft wide x 12ft high roller door and 9" concrete block walls either side, corrugated sheeting above door.

 

The VERY LAST job on RAF Scammell Constuctor restoration, including a lot of cab plating and work on the tropical roof, was to install the spare wheel on its carrier in body behind cab.

 

Decided to use the chain hoist and davit just for fun (a 4"dia. curved steel tube which lifts up for use as swinging hoist, drops down over spare wheel for stowage).

 

In what should have been a very proud moment, the truck's first venture into daylight was accompanied by a horrific crunch of falling conrete blocks and a cloud of dust and debris.

 

I looked out of cab to see the roller door swinging from a piece of 1 1/2 inch angle iron, still horizontal but at 45 degrees to shed, and one sidewall on the deck. :shake:

 

I sat there thinking the cab would be a write-off, and then gingerly got out to find the (unstowed) davit was bent double. Would you believe there was not a single scratch on the cab or body?

 

Easy bit was repairing the davit, it took considerably longer to install a new roller door and shed wall....... :oops:

[Mark]

Pictures must have pictures :-D