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Another 10 things you learn at shows..


Jack

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Another 10 things you learn whilst at shows..

 

 

  1. make sure you take off your sunglasses from time to time to stop you looking like a muppet with white rings around your eyes whilst the rest of your face is red
  2. blow up beds really are the way to sleep at shows
  3. I hate bouncy castles
  4. pot noodles really are as bad as I remember
  5. one pint of Tanglefoot makes you sleep very well
  6. you cannot take pictures of the inside of the Tiger 1 at Bovington museum
  7. nice to see British re-enactors
  8. icecreams really are worth £2 a go
  9. I should go into the business of fast food
  10. all business's selling airfix models should be banned from shows

 

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Another 10 things you learn whilst at shows..

 

 

  1. make sure you take off your sunglasses from time to time to stop you looking like a muppet with white rings around your eyes whilst the rest of your face is red

  2. blow up beds really are the way to sleep at shows

  3. I hate bouncy castles

  4. pot noodles really are as bad as I remember

  5. one pint of Tanglefoot makes you sleep very well

  6. you cannot take pictures of the inside of the Tiger 1 at Bovington museum

  7. nice to see British re-enactors

  8. icecreams really are worth £2 a go

  9. I should go into the business of fast food

  10. all business's selling airfix models should be banned from shows

 

 

I told you pot noddles were vile, but would you listen to me? hummpf..................................................

 

 

 

another thing learnt at shows

when the small people say they want to go home, dont stop and chat to Jack!!!!!!!!

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17 Pink cushions still do not go with green machines.

18 If accompanied by the wife (and she's anything like mine) they aren't tanks they are APC's!!

Rule 19 the wife is always right

Rule 20 if in doubt refer to above rule!

Rule 21, Never tell wife you are off to the toot stalls.

rule 22 The amount of toot you take home will always exceed the amount you despose of.

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Rule 23 Never go round gun stalls and other expensive delights after spending 3 hours in the beer tent, it can severely damage your credit card.

 

Rule 24 Drinking red wine and/or whiskey instead of beer in the evening means you don't have to later crawl out of your warm sleeping bag so often. The resulting hangover will be far worse though!

 

Mmmm, do I have a drink problem?!

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Rule 26 There is no queue for the ladies loo. There is a long queue for the gents. All is right with the world.

 

Rule 27 When a nervous gent with a look of sheer concentration dashes across to the (empty) ladies portaloo, do not enter afterwards.

 

:D

Edited by Lauren Child
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  • 3 weeks later...
33b Turdisies on ANY sort of slope are to be avoided.

 

What next the HMVF guide to Turdis ettiquette? :sweat:

 

 

IS there any etiquette where turdis's are concerned;.........certainly not, 'after you',.......:sweat::sweat::eek:

 

 

Andy

 

FIREMAN

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There was an event at one of the steam fairs one year Turdis Tobbagans,

Rule 35 Check windspeed befor entering Turdis, anything above force 5 :shake:

My suggession is Cement dust and boiled egg sardies plus large doses of Immodiam. Or rent your own.

founder member of the 'Porcelain Appreciation society'

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Facilities at Irish shows can be a bit primitive, bought my own private portaloo at Lidl last week for €40!!

 

Steam fair we attended a few years ago in UK, bunch of pikey yobs overturned a Turdis with a Belgian trader inside late one night, turned up at our mess tent dripping unmentionables and dyed blue, not a pleasant sight or a nice welcome for a visitor!

 

Renting your own at a big show is a sound plan, need a padlock though, members of public will stiil try to use it even when hidden under cam net.

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