Was it really that much fun being in the british army in germany in the 70s/80s ?

[Tony B]

Still goes on even in the TA RLC. My Number One Son is having two weeks paid holidays at Pirbright, ah isn't the weather lovley?:cool2: Bitching like hell 'Why an infantary place? We drive not march?'

[ArtistsRifles]

Ah Pirbright - fond memories of turning up there for the second time in 2007 for their Familiy open day, parking the battered old Landie up, climbing out and watching the soldier on guard duty make a bee-line for me only to see the magic hat in my trouser pocket and do a smart about face...

Then seeing the "WTF is that" look all over the recruits faces whilst rumbling past in the Stalwart !!

[handler 69]

I like to thank you fellas for your stories on here I have really enjoyed them! I would like permission to download the SOXMIS scans so I can laminate them and use them in my display on the BAOR...if that is OK.

Cheers

Troy

[ferretfixer]

Still goes on even in the TA RLC. My Number One Son is having two weeks paid holidays at Pirbright, ah isn't the weather lovley?:cool2: Bitching like hell 'Why an infantary place? We drive not march?'

 

Somthing is wrong when the Troops are NOT bitiching Tony!

Tell your lad he has forgotten what the Primary objectives is in being a Squaddie!

'Your a Soldier FIRST, & a Tradesman Second'. To that end, ANY Army Serviceman has to refresh his Soldier Skills!

Mike

[Tony B]

I'll will make a point of bitching in his ear directly!! Off to Pirbright now for his Passing Out Parade. Don't need to tell you how I feel.

[DAVEPAUL5]

Having done 10 years in REME 6years in Germany I realised being a reccy mech. meant you were working on your own, the best unit I was with 4 RTR. we broke all sorts of records on ex Eternal Triangle including taking the regiment through Minden including the cent. ARVs on metal tracks! they spoilt it though 1 troop bogging in and we had to build a road with choppers bringing in sleepers dropping them on to 3 tonners REs in to put in class 60 roadway and we eventially winched them out .One other Ex which comes to mind was in Hildesheim was taking 5 hours to do 5 miles in the snow in the Harts mountains the ARV was on metal tracks, the Chieftains were on rubber of course.there is not enough pages to tell about beer and bratties but we managed to survive never the less.

[Tony B]

I'll will make a point of bitching in his ear directly!! Off to Pirbright now for his Passing Out Parade. Don't need to tell you how I feel.

Well he was suitably bitched at! Having spent the day at Pirbright for Regular and TA Passing out parade. The British Squaddie flag is in good hands.

[timbo]

I like to thank you fellas for your stories on here I have really enjoyed them! I would like permission to download the SOXMIS scans so I can laminate them and use them in my display on the BAOR...if that is OK.

Cheers

Troy

 

Agreed - awesome thread, one of the best I've read in ages....

[Diesel demon]

 

Agreed - awesome thread, one of the best I've read in ages....

Go ahead Troy...enjoy

[Diesel demon]

One story worth a mention was when I served with 3Armd Div Sig Regt

 

We were on one particularily long exercise (probably Summer Sales) and had some boffins from Plessey with us, we were told to be on best behaviour and put them to good use !

Digging trenches and pan bash were first on the list the shiney arsed civvy wankers...anyway

 

Boredom brings out the best in the squaddie devious mind

There was one lad who was sh*t scared of the dark and it was decided that the guard post should be rigged and he would get a 0300 stag.

 

Out came the green cam string and we busied ourselves tying miles of the stuff..up in the tree's..a mess tin with stones placed down the track..some wrapped around the handset on the phone....a bag full of bottles tied to a tree etc etc

 

We all retired to the back of my wagon, wrapped the loose ends of the string to some pre prepared labels and had a few well earned beers and wet ourselves in anticipation :-D

 

Zero hour came and our beer fuelled plan went into action...a few jerks on a few bits of string were never so funny, the branchs were creaking and swaying...the mess tin was doing its stuff down the track and the bottles gently tapping against a tree, matey was filling his pants ! after a few minutes he could take no more and went for the phone which duly shot out of his hand..I have honestly never seen a guy so scared and legging down a track into the darkness, wrong...but so right under the circumstances

 

That was probably one of the only times I can honestly say I have wet myself laughing, it was a truly memorable squaddie moment...the guys from Plessey couldn't beieve it :nut:

 

It was rumoured that the British Army were also responsible for Dm1000's of damage during exercises, I would like to point out that never during my 12 or so years based with BAOR did I ever take out any snow posts or take part in any bets involving 10 packs to see who could take out the most in a night move

[ferretfixer]

DD, That was just SOOOOO Typical of those times! I remember them with great Affection!

You made me smile imagining all that unfolded on that Occassion! Squaddies REALLY know how to have a laugh! You are correct in your statement about boredom. THAT is when the Military imagination & Humour REALLY makes itself felt. Some of the things I have seen & been involved in during my own Service Time would make a good book! And of course, An ENOURMOUS amount of it would be unprintable!! :cool2: Today with the British Armed Forces being run by Health & Safety (?) & the Bed wetting jobs worths Terrified of anything not going according to the Rulebook. It is not quite the same, But I have absolutely NO doubt whatsoever. That SOME of that fantatstic, get-you-through-the-bad-times-humour, still exists! I retitterate a post I have made before: I think this is one of many of the reasons why a lot of us (Ex Service Personell) drift towards this particular Hobby. The Camerarderie, & the 'Happy Times' of our youth! Am I wrong?................Mike.

[Diesel demon]

A couple of ex Signals wrote a book called 'picking up the brass' a remarkably true and hilarious account of their time in the Army and well worth a read

[Diesel demon]

How about this for a jolly jape of a wheeze

 

We shared the camp with an opposing Armoured Signal Sqn, the CO's annual inspection was looming and we all know that the inter Sqn rivalary is firere so what better idea than to ...

 

Break into their garages and pour Compo Milk powder, Compo Jam and just about anything that would fit down the stacks of their 432's

 

Now...the manual states 'press the throttle down hard for 10 seconds when starting, this ensures any debris placed in the stack over the weekend will be easily dislodged and cover all and sundry in said deposit'

A shower of **** took on a new meaning instantly !

 

So wrong..but right :blush:

[bjbsophey]

DD Did you ever find out the 1 in 5 of those snow posts was concrete my lance carrier use too ,an i would here a satifactory thump as i drove over it , the thing was with the m113 chassis the tracks would grab at the back and sling it upwards , not to good for the 4 tonner behind you lol. Remember setting up an exclusion zone for mating main missile assemblies and warheads together , me and a mate knew that the next lad on stag ( grave yard shift) was **** scared of the dark , so we decided to peel the bark of a tree and smeere the resadue on our faces & hands , which incidentally glowed in the dark, of i went to wake him for stag and rushed back to the trench we both laid in the parapit at the front of the trench, waiting for him to arrive and settle in to his routine , i mean routine, he was having a tug and fag to warm the body up , with our glow in the dark hands a face we leapt up and frightened the lad half to death, we pissed ourselves laughing as he leapt out the trench and shot off into the woods , we didnt see shirley ( his nick name)for about half a day . Never under estimate a squaddies imagination when there bored. good times , could write a book about this stuff

[ArtistsRifles]

Could be an idea for Snapper there!!! I have a book here entitled "70 true stories of WW"" - published by (IIRC) the News of the World in the late 1940's.

 

Maybe there would be a market for a similar one from the Cold War days!!

[AlienFTM]

Somthing is wrong when the Troops are NOT bitiching Tony!

Tell your lad he has forgotten what the Primary objectives is in being a Squaddie!

'Your a Soldier FIRST, & a Tradesman Second'. To that end, ANY Army Serviceman has to refresh his Soldier Skills!

Mike

 

Then when an infantryman goes off on one about the infantry being most important, remind him that everybody who isn't infantry learned all that stuff in Basic, THEN went and learned a real trade.

 

I'll need a bigger net, this one's a whopper.

[AlienFTM]

Agreed - awesome thread, one of the best I've read in ages....

 

Get on http://www.arrse.co.uk and visit the Old'n'Bold forum. It's all like this.

[tankie88]

On page 8 the pic of the Chieftain.........one of HQ Sqn's tanks 3 RTR.It's either the CO's tank or the 2i/c.I know nearly all of them bods in that pic.I'm also proud to have been on the longest p*ss up in history:D

[Bob Grundy]

In a previous post I said that i would post some more pics of 5/8 Kings on Ex Crusader that took place in 1980. I now have a scanner working.

Top one is at Altcar Rifle Range before going on to Manchester Airport. The lower one

shows Sgt's Edwards and Forrester and Cpl Peacock, I forget the others on the left, at

a large ammunition storage complex in Germany. Note the now old fashioned SLR, early BFA's

puttees and clean boots.........

[Bob Grundy]

Top pic is a veiw from an OP looking down on the entrance to a bulk fuel depot. The two have a LMG, 5/8 Kings did not have this weapon so thy must be of the attached from DLOY for Crusader 80.

The question where was the depot ? I recall the name sounding like Varendorf ???

Its 30 years ago so might be way out but I am sure some ex Regs will know.

[ArtistsRifles]

They look nice and warm in the noddy suits!!!

[AlienFTM]

1 Armoured Division's Field Training Exercise in 1983 was Exercise Eternal Triangle, so called because a team went round BAOR and two other theatres (which now escape me) evaluating a formation in a three-yearly cycle. It took place late-October into early November (therefore overlapping Ex Able Archer:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Able_Archer_83

 

but we didn't know this).

 

According to the radio log book instructions, exercise radio messages were supposed to be prefixed with the exercise name, though in eight years as an operator I had never done this or seen it done. This exercise was universally known as exercise ET. One afternoon at the start of the second week, a message came in on the HF Divisional Logistics Net (that the Main REME Group of 12 Armoured Workshop REME listened to) from the QM (OC Rear Party) that the OC was to contact him by land line (signals euphemism for telephone: find a call box) about a non-exercise matter back at our base location at his convenience. Since the MRG HQ was the OC's radio truck, in theory all radio traffic was addressed to him. So I logged:

 

1635 To 8 From 8A* ET phone home.

 

It raised a chuckle from all who read it.

 

This was my first FTX with 12 Armd Wksp and I hadn't yet learned to work permanent nights on radio stag to save being woken up to help with the frequency and code changes at midnight anyway.

 

I realised that here we were, cammed up and bored rigid in a farmyard on the east bank of the Weser and I was stuck listening to HF noise on Halloween. I came up with what quickly turned into a cunning plan, "as cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University." There was a lad in Stores Platoon who had a heart of gold but was terminally clumsy. So clumsy was he that he spent his every working hour on exercise manning Stores Platoon's sentry point. No doubt it was explained to him that his soldiering skills were too strong to be wasted stacking blankets. For the sake of the story, let's call him Dave (cos that was his name).

 

I was due off stag at 2000hrs. We were centrally messed by an elaborate field kitchen on trailers (well our Army Catering Corps people were attached to the REME) so that the REME didn't have to waste busy-busy time cooking at a per-vehicle level. Over evening meal, I expressed my idea with some trust-worthies and put a cautious word or two out into appropriate ears.

 

The OC Stores Platoon (who thought so much of himself that the troops called him Sass **) got wind that I was planning something and Dave would be the victim. He warned me off. I didn't care. The hierarchy loved me and we both knew he couldn't really touch me. Besides, it was all bark. I knew it, he knew I knew it, and so long as I didn't spoil it for him, everything would be fine.

 

Come 2000hrs and the Admin Officer took over from me. He was vaguely aware, but I think he was hoping for credible deniability. I handed over to him, picked up my webbing and weapon, turned on the UK/PRC 349 that lived in my kidney pouches and donned the (wombled) Staff-User Headgear over my beret. Young Francis, a Craftsman clerk came with me.

 

I exited the radio truck and immediately gave a radio check. "Hello Zero this is 34 Charlie radio check over."

"Zero okay over."

"Okay out." Each knew that the other could hear him fine.

 

I started around the sentry points, arranged around the HQ like covered wagons in a cowboy film. I made it clear to each if them that all they had to do was react to my messages. No brains required. Last sentry position (deliberately) was 6 (Stores) Platoon. As I had known would be the case, Dave and A. N. Other were on stag.

 

We approached silently from behind, as was my wont: silent movement in the dark was a given in my recent recce role. We came up behind Dave.

 

"Right Dave. Are you happy about what is going on?" Only I knew exactly what was going on, but however tight the security, word had percolated down to Dave.

"Yeah, sure Alien, no problem."

"Okay. You have the live rounds you were issued?" On FTX the only ten live rounds carried were in a single 9mm Browning magazine for a pistol held in a safe in the radio truck along with the codes. We only had that in case Lefty wierdos (anti-cold War was getting big in West Germany) decided to do something stupid.

"Yes, sure." That did surprise me. I went nose to nose with him in the dark. (I could see him fine in the pitch black - all the years in recce, but I wanted him to see my face and feel my exercise breath on his. If you've ever been on ex, you'll know all about exercise breath.)

"Let's see. For inspection ports arms." Needless to say, his magazine wasn't even on his SLR, never mind primed with 20 live rounds.

"Dave, you aren't taking this seriously. Whatever this creature is reported out there, it's going to kill somebody. Painfully. Now get a grip. Keep your eyes peeled while I go back and get you some."

 

Francis and I started back in the direction of the HQ truck. I swear I heard Dave's mate biting his fist to suppress a laugh, and Dave telling him to take it seriously. Whatever this creature was, reported out there, it was going to kill somebody. Painfully.

 

On the soft ground and in the palpable black (the moon was just past third quarter and wouldn't rise until just after midnight), about twenty paces was enough, before we soundlessly went around to our left, round in front of the position about 100m in front of them.

 

The clouds parted and the ground was suddenly lit up like day from the ambient star light. I couldn't help thinking how well my old Scorpion's image-intensifying sight would work in these conditions.

 

"Hello all stations this is 34C. Send SitRep over."

"Zero nothing to report over."

"1 nothing to report over." Fitters

"2 nothing to report over." A&G

(3 Platoon was the Forward Recovery Team, FRT, and not located with the MRG on exercise.)

"4 nothing to report over." MT

(5 Platoon was Workshop HQ: on exercise, manning the radio truck. Not on net.)

"6 nothing to report over."

 

"34C roger ou ... (I deliberately kept the pressel held down) what was that? Francis, did you see that? What's that noise? No-o-o-o! Run!"

 

Francis and I started up the hill, running straight at the Stores Platoon sentry position. Francis ran cross-country for the corps and was off like a whippet. Behind, I made some animal noises and shouted, "For pity's sake help me Francis, it's got me!"

 

When Dave saw Francis coming, his SLR went one way, his webbing the other and he was off, arms and legs pumping, trying to keep up with Francis as he roared past. I stopped with the other sentry. "Hang on to Dave's weapon and webbing for him. We wouldn't want him to get into any trouble, would we?"

 

I saw Francis heading off down the road, Dave in hot pursuit. "Wait for me, you barsteward!" I walked off after them. The road was metalled. There were trees on my left, other side of a shallow trench down the side of the road. Off to my right was a tree line a couple of hundred metres away and beyond that, out of sight, was the Weser. It couldn't be that far, because we could see the mist starting to rise and come up through the trees.

 

I was never going to catch them. Then I realised that they were walking back up the road toward me. I was off the road and under a big tree in a flash. What starlight there was was enough to bury me in deep shade and they walked right past me, not ten yards away. Dave was berating Francis for running off. Francis was also stifling a laugh. As soon as they were past, I crept back to the road and jumped, landing two-footed with a satisfying THUMP on the tarmac. I let out a wolf-like roar. Francis turned to look at me. Dave was off again. A German farmer in his Merc was coming toward us. Dave flagged him down. He was screaming at the farmer to let him in. The farmer floored it (probably thinking, "Verdammt crazy Englische Truppen." Either that or, "There's a man with a seriously big rifle (Francis) there: not a good night to be hijacked.").

 

Dave turned instead toward the farmhouse and banged on the door. I shouted after Francis, who was trying to stop him cos it was getting silly now, to get a hold of him and calm him down. Not easy. Francis was a skinny young racing snake; Dave was a big lad. Zero came up on the air and told me to relay that Dave and Francis were to report to the radio truck for debrief. Now bear in mind that at this point, as far as I knew, nobody could see anything, so how HQ knew to call them in impressed me.

 

I bimbled off in the general direction of the radio truck. By the time I got there, the debrief was over and the whole of HQ were crammed in the back of the truck, all apparently crying.

 

"What happened?" I asked of nobody in particular. It transpired that Dave had gone up the stairs two at a time, banged on the door and, being invited in, stepped inside and produced his best salute ever for the OC. He had explained how Craftsman L******** (Francis) had gone running off terrified by some beast and he (Dave) had gone after him. Everybody had bitten his fist to supress his laughter. The OC had complimented him on a job well done and he might return to duty. Dave had thrown up another immaculate salute, stepped out through the door and fallen down the steps in the dark.

 

"You want to know what really happened?" It turned out that Stores Platoon had a number of infantry night sights and most of the MRG had been stood in the Stores Platoon area just out of natural sight from the sentries, fighting over any available night sight.

 

Oh how everybody larfed. Even Dave was happy because the OC Workshop (a major) had complimented him. It was a happy Halloween that year.

 

Happy Halloween to you all. Yes it really was that much fun being in the British Army in West Germany in the 70s/80s.

 

Oh but wait. I forgot to mention. Remember Sass, OC Stores Platoon warned me to leave Dave alone?

 

Next morning at breakfast he saw me and came across. "Corporal Alien." I could tell from his manner that he wasn't on a social visit. I stood up smartly.

"Sir."

"Last night you were going to play a prank on Private Dave?"

"Yes, sir."

"And I ordered you not to."

"Sir." (Head hung, knowing that however much I despised Sass being a perceived warry officer when I had been in recce for real, not Walter Mitty land, I had disobeyed a direct order from an officer. And there was me, second tape on arm just two months and the REME had tried to block that because I'd had a disagreement with the Workshop 2IC just as it was awarded. Luckily Commander Finance at 1 Armd Div had politely told the Workshop that he promoted and busted his Pay Corps staff, not the unit. The unit were really rather glad cos, like I said, they really thought I could do no wrong.

"I am not at all happy with you Corporal Alien."

"Sorry, sir."

"The reason I ordered you not to was because I had to go away yesterday evening and I wasn't about to see what went on. And my whole platoon have been telling me what a good evening it was. Barsteward." Smack around the head. I let him have that one. In his eyes, I probably deserved it.

 

_____

* It's a long time ago: I cannot remember what the call signs really were. I do remember the new call sign system was in its infancy and 12 MRG pushed HQ REME for a dedicated callsign for a Pay Corps asset. 34D rings a bell. Istr 34C on any net meant CO of the parent unit / formation.

 

** He once blazed into my Pay Office and grabbed me by the throat demanding something or other. He was more than a little surprised when I held the letter-opener in my right hand to his voice box and started to push gently, saying, "Put me down ... sir."

Edited October 31, 2010 by AlienFTM

[ferretfixer]

Great stuff Alien! TYPICAL of the times!

Dave must have been really scared though, & forgotten that you NEVER salute in the field - No matter what rank they are!

Nice discription & well recalled. Take a N.A.F.F.I Break Corporal.............:cool2:

[tankie88]

Can't remember much from my time in BAOR.All i know is it was the longest party i,ve been to with 3RTR.

[Yorkie370]

I recall the name sounding like Varendorf

Warendorf was 4 Petroleum Depot, a place I visited often in the early days of my career in BAOR. We used to take our MK aircraft refuellers there for part of their regular earthing system checks.

 

As to the original question; yes, and then some. After three years pushing, pulling and cleaning helicopters I got to spend six years driving them. Imagine being given the keys to someone else's Aston Martin V8 Vantage, an Amex Gold Card and a license to flog around the countryside at warp-factor snot. One day, when my kidneys are shot, and the damage that my knees have had to endure thanks to crap boots finally catches up with me I may look back with regret to those halcyon 13 years in BAOR. Until then, I'll raise a glass of duty-free to Wolfgang, who's driving skills with an overladen bratty wagon were unbeatable.

Edited January 21, 2011 by Yorkie370