Jack Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 When your smoke alarm goes off - do not try and extract the burnt toast from under the grill by actually grabbing the red hot elements - it tends to burn your fingers badly. *note to self - BUY A FLIPPING TOASTER TOMORROW. More handy house hold tips bound to come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
griff66 Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 heres another one dont stand with bare feet on a upturned 13 amp plug = eyes water! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Posted March 28, 2010 Author Share Posted March 28, 2010 heres another one dont stand with bare feet on a upturned 13 amp plug = eyes water! God yeah! It isn't only me then!! It is worse then being stung by a Hornet - another story! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snapper Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 The best one I can give you comes from someone who will read this and laugh as we look back to 1993. Don't put chicken nuggets in your pocket. They'll get fluffy. I thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Barrell Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 Glad to hear your domestic skills are improving Jack, you've progressed to toast! BTW, when you run out of plates etc, it's time to wash up..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Posted March 28, 2010 Author Share Posted March 28, 2010 Glad to hear your domestic skills are improving Jack, you've progressed to toast! Yeah! I bought a cookbook - its amazing, there is so much you can do with bread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N.O.S. Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 .....BTW, when you run out of plates etc, it's time to wash up..... Washing cutlery won't be a problem - remember those mauve coloured multi-purpose eating utensils which came with the HMVF overalls? I suspect there might be several thousand tucked away somewhere..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Posted March 28, 2010 Author Share Posted March 28, 2010 Washing cutlery won't be a problem - remember those mauve coloured multi-purpose eating utensils which came with the HMVF overalls? I suspect there might be several thousand tucked away somewhere..... Its a fair point - I did buy a container load of them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snapper Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 Maybe you should use one of those Gorilla Grips to extract your Hovis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosie Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 If you ever need to blend something (ie too make soup etc) never ever ever wash the hand blender by plunging it into the washing up bowl and then turning it on. It tingles for days afterwards :wow::shocked: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snapper Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 I can see an episode of Casualty just for Jack. Though I'm not sure how we swing it for a GMC to be dropped accidentally into the casualty department by a passing train/petrol tanker/ ice cream van/ nuclear powered submarine with attendant explosion/murder/angst Discuss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N.O.S. Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 I can see an episode of Casualty just for Jack. ....... Discuss. Nurse 1: "However did you manage to get a forum up there, sir?" :shocked: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 For once . being concerned over our galant leadera's welfrae. Get one theses mate! http://www.jmldirect.com/The-Original-Halogen-Oven-PH1500/ Brilliant for pastys and pies and box meals and ...................... Even has a clean mode! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snapper Posted March 28, 2010 Share Posted March 28, 2010 Nurse 1: "However did you manage to get a forum up there, sir?" :shocked: A funny thing happened on the way to the forum.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferretfixer Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Here's another one for you Jack to go with your original post: ALWAYS Butter your Toast BOTH sides. Because when you drop it, it ALWAYS lands buttered side downwards!........:-D Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snapper Posted March 29, 2010 Share Posted March 29, 2010 Use margerine. It's composition causes less drag in flight and the toast will always land spread side up*. *Nine times out of ten on a dry day in the Brecon Beacons. Eight out of ten owners say their Jacks preferred it, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gritineye Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Never clean your teeth in the dark, Anusol lacks the minty zing and freshness of Colgate, or so they tell me........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woa2 Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 If you ever need to blend something (ie too make soup etc) never ever ever wash the hand blender by plunging it into the washing up bowl and then turning it on. It tingles for days afterwards :wow::shocked: Also, if you are using a hand-blender, make sure it's not on when you remove it from the mixing bowl! (My Mother-in-Law did this once). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlienFTM Posted March 30, 2010 Share Posted March 30, 2010 Here's another one for you Jack to go with your original post: ALWAYS Butter your Toast BOTH sides. Because when you drop it, it ALWAYS lands buttered side downwards!........:-D Mike So one buttered side will constantly be trying to get underneath the other to hit the ground. You've invented anti-gravity! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 -Don't use the front brake only on a moped -Don't go on a childrens stepthinghy -Don't touch a stonedrill after use -Don't shoot your own foot with a paintball gun -Don't touch sparkplug wires with running engine -Don't shoot a airgun at brother's friends head -Don't jump a small rise on a moped -Don't touch a Sherman barrel after firing with butane gas -Don't get a Dodge airborne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 If throwing a lighted match out of a Land Rover window. Open the *** window first! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fesm_ndt Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 -Don't leave the soldering iron on the caravan step -Don't proceed with the sharp pointing thing when the thought passes through your brain "if I slip this will hurt" -Don't have your car keys on one of those inertia reel things, with added problem don't let your kids pull on them to full extension and let go (resulted direct hit on your pecker) -Don't test 12v wire with your tongue -Don't hold beer with your teeth whilst shooting -Don't clench a spanner when dislodging a rusty nut -Don't hit a tree on a motorcycle -Don't tow anyone (most people have no idea on how to be towed) -Don't sit at the computer like the great thinker ie typing with one hand and resting your chin on your other hand, elbow on the desk (very bad) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ford 369 Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 -Don't leave the soldering iron on the caravan step-Don't proceed with the sharp pointing thing when the thought passes through your brain "if I slip this will hurt" -Don't have your car keys on one of those inertia reel things, with added problem don't let your kids pull on them to full extension and let go (resulted direct hit on your pecker) -Don't test 12v wire with your tongue -Don't hold beer with your teeth whilst shooting -Don't clench a spanner when dislodging a rusty nut -Don't hit a tree on a motorcycle -Don't tow anyone (most people have no idea on how to be towed) -Don't sit at the computer like the great thinker ie typing with one hand and resting your chin on your other hand, elbow on the desk (very bad) you must have been watching me as I read the last line with one hand on the mouse and the other supporting my chin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 -Don't sit at the computer like the great thinker ie typing with one hand and resting your chin on your other hand, elbow on the desk (very bad) Why not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fesm_ndt Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 Why not? I used to do it a lot and I started loosing the feeling in my last 2 fingers to the point I could not hold a fork. After several checks, they found I had crushed the nerve that goes under my elbow. To fix it I had to go for an operation, 6 inch cut. groove the bone and move the nerve around. Never regained full arm extension ie cant fully straighten by a degree or so, but could have permanently lost the use of half my hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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