fv1609 Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I went into a builder's merchant today, young man (English) asked if I was looking for anything in particular. Me: "Bog seats" Man: "What?" Me: "May I ask do you sell lavatory seats" Man: "I don't know, but we've got toilet seats" Me: "I expect I'll be able to make one fit" Well at least that's the wife's Christmas present sorted :-D :-D :-D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Farrant Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I went into a builder's merchant today, young man (English) asked if I was looking for anything in particular. Me: "Bog seats" Man: "What?" Me: "May I ask do you sell lavatory seats" Man: "I don't know, but we've got toilet seats" Me: "I expect I'll be able to make one fit" Well at least that's the wife's Christmas present sorted :-D :-D :-D Thought you used B&Q on a Wednesday ? :-D;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fv1609 Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Actually where I go is cheaper. Even if I was eligible for that old persons Wednesday discount (which you seem to know so much about) this place is still cheaper everyday. Besides the garden centre pensioners discount is today so I don't want to have to go out tomorrow as well :-D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Reminds me of one at the local Tesco filling ststion. I made the remark I could rememeber petrol at 35p per gallon. Young girl behind counter 'How many gallons in a litre?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fv1609 Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 One year at W&P I went into the supermarket at Paddock Wood I have to confess I did this in Borat style but I asked an assistant: "Do you sell chicken eggs?" "Um I don't know but we have got ordinary ones" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andym Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 When I was at college back in the late 1980s one of my friends went into Halfords and asked if they had any AC batteries. After rejecting the batteries on offer as they were DC, the assistant agreed to order some AC ones .... Andy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Another Halford's one 'Is your Diesiel fuel injected?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rangie Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Always a perverse favourite of mine: Assistant- "That'll be £4.48 please" Me- "Well, here's £5.03 just to make it easier for you" :-D Shame the electronic idiot-tills have made it easier for them, they don't even have to work out the change now!! I still calculate the change, the number of times they have short-changed me by "accidentally" punching the wrong amount into the till is unreal, and still they ARGUE about it! The till says thats the change so it must be right!!! Grrr! :mad: Must.......stop.......rant........starting.............:nut: Alec. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Degsy Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Always a perverse favourite of mine: Assistant- "That'll be £4.48 please" Me- "Well, here's £5.03 just to make it easier for you" :-D Shame the electronic idiot-tills have made it easier for them, they don't even have to work out the change now!! I still calculate the change, the number of times they have short-changed me by "accidentally" punching the wrong amount into the till is unreal, and still they ARGUE about it! The till says thats the change so it must be right!!! Grrr! :mad: Must.......stop.......rant........starting.............:nut: Alec. If you can do mental arithmetic you must be...................'of a certain age' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RattlesnakeBob Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Yeah Rangie I often do the same kinda thing...on more than one occasion I've actually been told . ..(on trying to explain to the youngster and some not so young exactly why I'm offering them a bit of loose change) "nah mate I can't do it like that ....... ..it'll mess up how much money is in my till at the end of the day see!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Suslowicz Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Always a perverse favourite of mine: Assistant- "That'll be £4.48 please" Me- "Well, here's £5.03 just to make it easier for you" :-D Shame the electronic idiot-tills have made it easier for them, they don't even have to work out the change now!! I still calculate the change, the number of times they have short-changed me by "accidentally" punching the wrong amount into the till is unreal, and still they ARGUE about it! The till says thats the change so it must be right!!! Grrr! :mad: Must.......stop.......rant........starting.............:nut: Alec. And they look so surprised when you hand them the exact amount before they've finished ringing it up.:shocked: (Not to mention comprehensively flummoxed when you check your change, tell them it's wrong, and proceed to hand them back the excess....):-D Mined ewe, one checkout operator in Aldi was less than pleased today: I gave him a pocketful of silver and he could only just shut the cash box afterwards - they must have topped up the float for the Christmas rush.:-D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woa2 Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I have 2 experiences of Yoofs I remember. 1. I go into a Petrol station to buy 3 items. I add the prices up in my head to get the correct money ready. Yoof assistant uses a calculator to add up the 3 items and gets it correct on the Third attempt!!!! 2. I go into a Hardware shop to buy some 1/4 Whitworth bolts. They sell them but I couldn't find the correct length I wanted. I ask the Yoof assistant for Whitworth Bolts and he asks "Whats Whitworth?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fv1609 Posted December 7, 2011 Author Share Posted December 7, 2011 "Whats Whitworth?" I think they make prunes For my garage inspection lamp I use "rough service" bulbs so that the filaments can withstand a bit of shaking around without blowing. I once went into our hardware shop & duly asked for a 60 watt rough service bulb. Yoof produced a normal domestic bulb & said "I'm sorry nowadays they are all smooth" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Suprised he knew what a light bulb though. On the other hand a bloke went into a builders yard and asked the old guy 'Do you have 10 kg of sharp sand and 2 kg of cement, or would you prefer it in imperial?' The old guy looked at him :' Put how you like mate. We do it by the shoveful'. Though I did have one, well it looked vaguley human, get on the bus and present a travel card. I called him back and pointed out the card was invalid. He asked me why and I told him it was dated the 31 st. He rightly pointed out it wasn't the 31 st of the month. He was correct, except, his card was dated 31st of February. The pillock was going through a pocket diary (Though I was suprised he even knew what a book was) looking for February the 31 st. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chevpol Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 . Though I did have one, well it looked vaguley human, get on the bus and present a travel card. I called him back and pointed out the card was invalid. He asked me why and I told him it was dated the 31 st. He rightly pointed out it wasn't the 31 st of the month. He was correct, except, his card was dated 31st of February. The pillock was going through a pocket diary (Though I was suprised he even knew what a book was) looking for February the 31 st. lol, we have just had new ticket machines at work that reads pensioners/disabled passes, going to be interesting! Mark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 If they ever work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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