Words of wisdom from military manuals

[Markheliops]

Hi all.

 

Just thought this would make some of you giggle -

 

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM MILITARY MANUALS

 

'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'

Infantry Journal

 

'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'

US.Air Force Manual

 

'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'

General MacArthur

 

You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.'

U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

 

'Tracers work both ways.'

U.S. Army Ordnance Manual

 

'Five second fuses only last three seconds.'

Infantry Journal

 

"The three most useless things in aviation are: -Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you.

Basic Flight Training Manual

 

Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'

Maritime Ops Manual

 

'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'

Unknown Marine Recruit

 

'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.'

USAF Ammo Troop

 

'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'

Sign over SR71 Wing Ops

 

'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'

Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)

 

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'

Unknown Author

 

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'

Fixed Wing Pilot

 

'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'

Multi-Engine Training Manual

 

'Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club.'

Unknown Author

 

'If you hear me yell;"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.' If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because you're the pilot.'

Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot

 

'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'

Sign over Control Tower Door

 

'Never trade luck for skill.'

Author Unknown

 

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are: 'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and 'Oh S...!' or (appended from the Arkansas Air National Guard):"Hold my beer and watch this!"

Authors Unknown

 

'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'

Basic Flight Training Manual

 

'Mankind has a perfect record in aviation - we have never left one up there!'

Unknown Author

 

'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'

Emergency Checklist

 

'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.'

Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

 

'If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.'

Sign over Carrier Group Operations Desk

 

'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'

Lead-in Fighter Training Manual

 

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks,'What happened?' The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'

 

Have a nice day.

 

Markheliops

[antarmike]

It's better to stop first then land....Harrier Pilot

[Puff]

class! Thanks for that, its made me laugh

[AndyFowler]

:rofl::rofl: Thanks Mark !

[AlienFTM]

Once the pin is pulled, Mr Grenade is nobody's friend.

[fesm_ndt]

Hi all.

 

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'

Fixed Wing Pilot

 

Have a nice day.

 

Markheliops

 

Man, fixed wing pilots always get it wrong........ most the time 25% of the blades are going faster than you, 25% is going slower and the other 50% around the same speed. Thats why it's unsafe oops complicated :cool2:

[antarmike]

When Bombing in Vietnam...

Every bomb found its target...they all hit the ground.

[Tony B]

There is no such thing as 'Freindly Fire'.

[agripper]

Indian riders hand book has this coment about brakes.

" The brake's are to retard forward movement " but says nothing about stopping.

Anyone who has ever riden an indian will agree they may slow you down but do a dame poor job of stopping you quickly. the book advises nothing about emergency braking! I have found that on the Indian all braking is emergency braking!:laugh::nut:

[cpltomo]

The best one i got told just before battle "Remember you weapon was built by the lowest bidder"

Also " if in doubt The claymore is pointing towards you"

And from sniper school " dont worry about the bullet with your name on it watch out for the one mark " to whom it may concern""

[antarmike]

When destroying a vehicle by gunfire to prevent it falling into enemy hands..." Firing Artillery at ranges of 500 yards or less should be from cover. Firing rifle grenades or anti-tank rockets should be from cover"

 

I would never have guessed!!

[antarmike]

When burning a vehicle for the same reason." Cover must be taken without delay since an early explosion of the fuel tank may be caused by the fire. Due concideration should be given to the highly flammable nature of gasoline and its vapour. Carelessness in its use may result in painful burns"

 

Who would have thought it??

[Tony B]

Not a manual, but a dull cmaouflaged SUSAT. With a huge great bright yellow radioactive sign on it! :nut:

[Adrian Barrell]

When burning a vehicle for the same reason." Cover must be taken without delay since an early explosion of the fuel tank may be caused by the fire. Due concideration should be given to the highly flammable nature of gasoline and its vapour. Carelessness in its use may result in painful burns"

 

Who would have thought it??

 

Thereby proving the need for the instruction........!:-D

[agripper]

There used to be a sign in the crew room which said " Propellers are dangerous when running"

You know will out that I am sure I would have just walked into them to see what would happen!!!!!!:cool2:

[Enigma]

There used to be a sign in the crew room which said " Propellers are dangerous when running"

You know will out that I am sure I would have just walked into them to see what would happen!!!!!!:cool2:

 

Just imagine walking on the street when yoúre passed by a running propellor...why doesn't the damn thing just walk. Much safer.:-D

[Tony B]

You want fun. Take a tempoary secratary at Heathrow, who hadn't been briefed on airside procdure, and shouldn't have been sent out there anyway. Wearing a wig. Then walk said lady past a Lufthansa jet doing ground runs on an engine. The enginner in charge is reputed to have passed out as the wig flew through the engine! :-D Cost of engine strip down and check, about £50,000