ESSEX HURRICANE APPEAL

[Marmite!!]

As one of our Fellow members lives at the epicenter & is affected by this hurricane I thought it was only right to put this appeal on here, JT (FV601) this is for you mate ;-) :-D :-D :-D

 

ESSEX HURRICANE APPEAL

A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the

Richter Scale hit Essex in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre in Basildon.

 

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".

 

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.

 

Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol

were damaged beyond repair

 

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were

woken well before their giros arrived. Essex FM reported that hundreds of

residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to

terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.

 

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was

such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying.

 

My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was

Still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning."

 

Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

 

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny

Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.Rescue workers are still

Searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal

belongings,including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at

Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

 

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those

unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most

sought after - items most needed include:

Fila or Burberry baseball caps

Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)

Shell suits (female)

White sport socks

Rockport boots

Any other items usually sold in Primark.

 

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.Required

foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of

Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation

forms. £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9. £5

buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

 

**Breaking news**

 

Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.

'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked," ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?

 

Please don't forward this to anyone living in Essex - oh, sod it, they

won't Be able to read it, anyway.

[saracenstump]

:-D :-D :-D :-D :whistle:

[ArtistsRifles]

Now I would have expected that from one of the Dorset lads - but a fellow Essex dweller????? :roll: :roll:

[richardrosser]

whats the address for donations :cry:

[ArtistsRifles]

Cash should be sent to:

 

Coalhouse Fort

East Tilbury

Essex

 

Marked for the attention of the MV owners sub-comittee

 

Anything else to:

 

Ford-Werke GmbH

Henry-Ford-Str. 1

50725 Köln

 

And should be fused to det on open......

[richardrosser]

:roll: do i smell a scam for the Essex MVT :dunno:

[ian2b]

Well done Lee. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Enigma]

That must hurt.....

[snowtracdave]

Speaking as a personage dwelling in one of more northern parts of the county of essex I have to say that I think you chaps are being dashed unsporting .

[hardyferret]

Here in Dorset we heard of a grief sticken Essex family coming to terms with the loss of the families Ratners collection.

We Dorset people send our condolences from the heart of our bottoms.

:whistle:

 

Hardyferret :pfrt:

 

[Mark]

Brings back memories of the essex girl jokes, loads of then there was and probably still is :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[hardyferret]

Like the photographer, who has been covering the Essex hurricane.

He walks up to 2 Essex girls and starts to compose the picture, when San rushs up and asks what he's doin'

She rushs back to Trace, 'E says he wants to focus?'

To which Trace replys 'What together!!!!!'

 

Kindest regards the Dorset contingent

 

Hardyferret :evil: :yay: :yay: :lipsrsealed:

 

 

[ian2b]

Like the photographer, who has been covering the Essex hurricane.

He walks up to 2 Essex girls and starts to compose the picture, when San rushs up and asks what he's doin'

She rushs back to Trace, 'E says he wants to focus?'

To which Trace replys 'What together!!!!!'

 

Kindest regards the Dorset contingent

 

Hardyferret :evil: :yay: :yay: :lipsrsealed:

 

 

 

 

Very Good Jerry, now back and finish the kitchen like a good boy. :-D