Marmite!! Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 As one of our Fellow members lives at the epicenter & is affected by this hurricane I thought it was only right to put this appeal on here, JT (FV601) this is for you mate ;-) :-D :-D :-D ESSEX HURRICANE APPEALA major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit Essex in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre in Basildon. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell". The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was Still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning." Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.Rescue workers are still Searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings,including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland. HOW CAN YOU HELP? This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White sport socks Rockport boots Any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms. £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9. £5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected. **Breaking news** Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop. 'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked," ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you? Please don't forward this to anyone living in Essex - oh, sod it, they won't Be able to read it, anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saracenstump Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 :-D :-D :-D :-D :whistle: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArtistsRifles Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Now I would have expected that from one of the Dorset lads - but a fellow Essex dweller????? :roll: :roll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richardrosser Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 whats the address for donations :cry: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArtistsRifles Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Cash should be sent to: Coalhouse Fort East Tilbury Essex Marked for the attention of the MV owners sub-comittee Anything else to: Ford-Werke GmbH Henry-Ford-Str. 1 50725 Köln And should be fused to det on open...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richardrosser Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 :roll: do i smell a scam for the Essex MVT :dunno: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian2b Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Well done Lee. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enigma Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 That must hurt..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowtracdave Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Speaking as a personage dwelling in one of more northern parts of the county of essex I have to say that I think you chaps are being dashed unsporting . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hardyferret Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Here in Dorset we heard of a grief sticken Essex family coming to terms with the loss of the families Ratners collection. We Dorset people send our condolences from the heart of our bottoms. :whistle: Hardyferret :pfrt: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Brings back memories of the essex girl jokes, loads of then there was and probably still is :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hardyferret Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Like the photographer, who has been covering the Essex hurricane. He walks up to 2 Essex girls and starts to compose the picture, when San rushs up and asks what he's doin' She rushs back to Trace, 'E says he wants to focus?' To which Trace replys 'What together!!!!!' Kindest regards the Dorset contingent Hardyferret :evil: :yay: :yay: :lipsrsealed: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ian2b Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Like the photographer, who has been covering the Essex hurricane. He walks up to 2 Essex girls and starts to compose the picture, when San rushs up and asks what he's doin' She rushs back to Trace, 'E says he wants to focus?' To which Trace replys 'What together!!!!!' Kindest regards the Dorset contingent Hardyferret :evil: :yay: :yay: :lipsrsealed: Very Good Jerry, now back and finish the kitchen like a good boy. :-D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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