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Why Jack should be a Agony Aunt


Marmite!!

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Dear Jack,

 

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.

I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a female neighbour making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years.

When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began resuscitation. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months.

I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

 

Sincerely,

Susie Fox

 

Dear Susie,

 

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the clips holding the vacuum lines onto the inlet manifold for air leaks. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor flow at chamber .

 

I hope this helps.

 

Jack

 

 

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Yes, i quite agree with that. It is also important to remember that Resusciatation should always take place on the floor and never on a bed. The springs in the bed counteract the downward pressure on the lungs and negate any effect of trying to pump air into them. Also mouth to mouth resusciatation should take place from the side and that can be very awkward to do on a bed unless it is a King Size. However I do heartily reccommend that you purchase a King Size bed as it is amazing what things you can fit in it. Interestingly, in the USA our King Size is known as Queen Size. Very important to bear that in mind when you are purchasing bed linen over there.

 

Tim (too)

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Sincerely,

Susie Fox

 

Dear Susie,

 

 

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

p.s. I've been viewing your avatar for some time on a pc which does not allow animation, and wondered why you had chosen an image of a small Star Wars-looking fighter craft sitting in a seriously large hangar. But this place being what it is I just accepted it at face value.

 

Having just got some animation working, I'm so relieved to discover it is in fact nothing more than a gyrating elephant. I was really begining to get worried about you :whistle:

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