Joris Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 * SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person. * TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking bollocks. * SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and Then leaves. * ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard. * CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles. * PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.) * SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a 'home business'. * SINBAD. Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate. * AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'. * PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. * ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the 'adminisphere' are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded 'administrivia' - needless paperwork and processes. * GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies. * 404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message '404 Not Found' meaning that the requested document could not be located. * AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under. * OH - NO SECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just Made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all'). * GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare. * JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training. * MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from The outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing. * MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'. * MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in. * MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10 Pinter in your bed instead. * BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise At 3:00am. * BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from. * BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night. * TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women. * PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's Got 4 buttocks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlienFTM Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 * SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and Then leaves. * MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'. The latter suggests this dates back at least to 2003, when Peter Reid was manager of Sunderland AFC. According to a Newcastle-supporting friend at the time, The Toon lost half their terrace songs when he left SAFC. Songs like, "Peter Reid peels bananas with his feet." Get the picture? And the former is actually military in origin. On the air, one never uses names, ranks, appointment etc in clear for OpSec and PerSec reasons. On my RAC Control Signaller Course in 1978, one night's homework was to learn many pages of so-called appointment indicators for a test the following day. Thus Sunray is the senior person in the location, be he a Lance Corporal vehicle commander of the brigade commander. Context was everything. There were hundreds of them, including for example: Foxhound - infantry Ironside - armour Goldfinger - pay Shelldrake - artillery Rickshaw - driver Pronto - radio Acorn - intelligence (from which grow mighty oaks) and pertinent to this thread, Seagull was (and I presume still is) the appointment indicator for an adjutant, because that is where the crap comes down from. But because it isn't rank-specific, it can also mean sergeant major, because at the company / squadron level, THAT is where the crap comes down from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick W Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 :-D :-D :-D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodge Deep Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 Missed of my personal favourite which is where management all sit round and decide whose elses fault it is that they aren't getting the results they promised the top carnivor they could acheive BLAMESTORMING Ooh I'll miss being in an office Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeeEnfield Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 * SINBAD. Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate. * AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'. * GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare. * M ILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from The outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing. * BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night. * TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women. * PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's Got 4 buttocks. Ahem,............... :whistle: :sweat: :sweat: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: BRILLIANT.............. :yay: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john wheatley (R.I.P.) Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 Gosh, all this corruption and me just an innocent sailor boy! ;-) John. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Lets have some more please? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rambo1969 Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 Skint :whistle: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 Skint :whistle: that's just the genral description of MV owners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Mayhem Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 Try and see what your doctor writes on your medical notes: S.IG. Stupid Ignorant Git G.O.K. God only knows W.O.T. Waste of time P.I.N. Pain in the neck P.I.A. you work it out. P.P.P.H. (I love this) Prescribe placebo phor hypochondria. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abn deuce Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 another Doctors description about a failing elderly case CTD C circling T the D drain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.thumb.JPG.fef88ee0409d60bbb480db613c124484.JPG)
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.