i collected a few other time and heres the ones i found :
Lawyers have feelings too (allegedly).
Forget world peace; visualize using your turn signal.
If you believe in telepathy, think about honking.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.
Use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for Solitaire.
I found je*us - he was behind the sofa all the time.
Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.
Don't make me mad. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path.
On your mark, get set, go away!
What would Scooby do?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Let's skip the insults and get right down to your butt kicking!
I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.
I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead.
If you can read this, you're not the president.
To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
Visualize Whirled Peas
If you can read this, I've lost the trailer!
Stoplights timed for 30 mph are also timed for 60 mph.
Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
What we need is a patch for stupidity!
Frankly, Scallop, I don't give a clam.
Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up!
The last time politics and religion were mixed, people were burned at the stake.
Rehab is for quitters.
I have a degree in Liberal Arts - do you want fries with that?
If you were born again, would you have two bellybuttons?
West Virginia: One million people, and 15 last names.
I'm out Of Estrogen and I've got a gun!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
For Sale: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
Mop and Glo - The floor wax used by Three-Mile-Island cleanup team.
NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
Gravity: It's not just a good idea. It's the law.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
You - Off my planet.
If you are what you eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
Allow me to introduce my selves.
Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
You say I'm a bi*ch like it's a bad thing.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
Earth is full. Go home.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, closed.
In dog years, I'm dead!
South Korea's got Seoul!
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.
The trouble with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
Senior Citizen: Give me my damn discount!
(Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If you can read this, my wife fell off!
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
i remember some of these when i was in on holiday in the US and some are from my friends and some i have seen in this country and a few in France...i was surprised at the ones in France....i didn't know the french had a sense of humour lol (sorry could resist!)
there alot more i just didnt want to post em all