AlienFTM

I knew a Barry Merchant who had HRH The Princess Margaret as Colonel in Chief. He carried an LMG in NI and loaded the entire first mag with trace to make sure he hit the target. The mind Boggles.

A few weeks ago, researching A Tracked Armoured Car, I set out to see if I could find dates for 42 Royal Marine Commando in Belfast in 1976, to whom I was attached on my NIRTT course. I did not find what I wanted, but I was surprised to find 42 Royal Marine Commando and Worthy Down (HQ RAPC while I was there) in the same breath. The article can be found by googling for +"42 Royal Marine Commando" +"Worthy Down" and there will be a single result returned, to http://www.rapc.co.uk/gallery/worthydown/worthydown.htm I sat and read the article, then scrolled down a page. Imagine my surprise (and delight - I thought the picture was lost) when I saw the top right-hand picture, http://www.rapc.co.uk/gallery/worthydown/qguard.gif , which shows a quarter guard of Computer Centre Senior NCOs being inspected by the Adjutant General at the occasion of the opening of the new Adjutant General's Computer Centre about 1988-9. I am the one with the medals (who isn't the Adjutant General).

The armoured regiment of Guards Armoured Division in 1944 - 45 (which memory suggests was a battalion of Coldstream Guards) captured a Panther, took it on strength, called it Cuckoo (for obvious reasons) and used it to lead the advance: always gained them a few seconds in the first contact and with that L/70 75mm gun, it didn't miss. Cannot remember for the life of me after all these years where that little gem came from.

Pagan?

They are very definitely targets.

Indeed, as opposed to a punkah wallah to work a fan or a char wallah to serve the tea, etc etc. I just couldn't be bothered to clarify which wallah.

I just wandered over to my combat jacket hanging on a peg at the other end of the office. I'd have said my stripes were a medium brown colour on an olive background. Promoted Sergeant in 1985 - I guess that's the date. Of course they could have faded from just about any colour.

Back on topic (bear with me - I will eventually). A couple of years ago I was driving through Welsh Wales isn't it and within 19 miles of setting out, a police car flagged me down for a failed brake light. Being an honest, law-abiding man, I pulled into the first service station I found. There weren't many open that late at night. The PC had clearly hoped to get me for drunk driving at that time. Tough. None. The Police in Welsh Wales isn't it are clearly far more efficient than some I could name - without wishing to draw attention to myself. Next service station I found some. Paid, out the door, pop the boot, the sales assistant runs out. "You've got 24 volt bulbs. Anything in a green packet is 24 volt. Shall I make you a refund?" Try your nearest service station that might handle trucks.

Absolutely. "A Track Armoured Car" Chapter 6 is currently being written, describing Salisbury Plain Training Area during the hot dry summer of 76 when the washdowns were closed down to save water. Our Scorpions etc had inches-thick layers of almost white chalk dust all over, in particular all rearward-facing surfaces which sat in the eddy behind the moving vehicle. Tonight I must mention the inches thick layer of dust.

I have absolutely no knowledge of the law in this area, but last week as I wrote Chapter 6 of A Tracked Armoured Car, events reminded me of a little item you might be interested in if you can find one. In the summer of '76, HQ UKLF decided to make a film showing a Soviet mechanised formation sweeping across the IGB and running into a 1 (BR) Corps killing zone. I crewed a Scorpion on this, Exercise Bugle Call. There was a lot of pyro which, as I say, only came back to me as the words flowed. One was the wiring of a smoke grenade to each indicator cluster so that when a vehicle was declared dead by an umpire, the driver hit the four-way flashers and the vehicle disappeared in a cloud of pretty coloured smoke. Our vehicle was one of three (out of hundreds on the start line) which made it to the end of the killing zone. I can still vividly remember standing in the gunner's position, looking over the side as we enjoined in a latter-day charge of the light brigade (instigated by two serving or erstwhile 15th Hussars: Captain John Nolan 15H, ADC to Lord Cardigan who had been removed as CO 15H in disgrace some years before). As I looked down, I saw we were in a minefield. A real I-am minefield. With real I-am anti-tank Teller mines. Plain as day. The gluteus maximum started playing sixpence, half a crown. Turned out they were practice Teller mines, also wired up to smoke grenades to that if you hit one (or failed to defuse it), you were engulfed in a cloud of pretty coloured smoke. No idea what the designation was or if they are available.

15/19H and 13/18H both got rid of their horses during the summer of '39, though they didn't get tanks until they deployed with the BEF. (The BEF was 100% mechanised at outbreak as all the horses had gone. At its peak of mechanisation in 1943, the Wehrmacht was about 50% mechanised. Amazing what you can do with statistics, isn't it?) They spent the Sitzkrieg learning to use tanks. "Light Dragoons" by Allan Mallinson has a handful of pictures of these tanks: they bore VRNs in the format (IIRC) ABC123, just like civvy vehicles.

ISTR we had green stuff in our CVR(T)s until about 1980 then changed to blue stuff. Not a clue what was in it, but at this time we never worried unduly about 3 Shock Army coming over the IGB in winter because at that time the conscripts didn't get paid enough to buy alcohol so they drank anti-freeze.

In 1921 an officer would have had a wallah (in India) or a batman. Action on officer's clothes needing cleaning is: "Wallah / Batman (delete as appropriate), wash my clothes."

Kübelwagen: a militarised VW Beetle. For many years it was dead easy to get hold of Kübelwagen kits (thinking particularly 1970s) and fit them to any old Beetle chassis. Also available in amphibious form as Schwimmfähiger Geländewagen (swimming-capable cross-country vehicle), usually abbreviated to Schwimmwagen.

When I was very young (maybe early 60s?), I remember owning a Dinky / Corgi Bloodhound (?) missile towed by a Land Rover in RAF Blue-grey. Not much help, I guess

Shroud to fit around a Scorpion gunshield to guide empty cases into the empty case bin on the turret floor? Not convinced, just vaguely familiar.

The dial-up address will probably remain perfectly valid so long as you dial up once every something like 30 days (or it is attached to your broadband account). ISTR something in the Freeserve T&Cs about the right to delete unused accounts after 30 (may have been 90) days, but we are talking previous millennium here.

D&M was never my forte (took the test, filed the licence under H and spent my career in radios) but if I am honest, a track mileage figure of 500 is coursing through my brains. That said, there are more reasons than simply extending the life of an engine in the day to day running of an A vehicle in service. I am quite certain our Scorpions' engines lasted a lot longer than 500 miles between replacement, but I wouldn't be at all surprise if the MBTF of a Chieftain engine was a lor shoreter than 500 miles. 1000 - 2500 miles sounds not unreasonable to me: if that's what the article said, I couldn't argue. I'd expect every engine to be rebuilt until it ceased to be viable, in the same way that the US have not built an Abrams in 13 years: they just keep rebuilding the old ones. This rebuilding programme had a name inthe Royal Armoured Corps: Bargepole was the rebuilding that Chieftains went through; Scorpions were returned for Scorpoling. Probably not a lot of help.

Check out "Hitler's Last General" (google for the quoted string and you'll find a link to Amazon - I found it in my local library; if your local library doesn't have it, clock the ISBN and order from your local library. Or buy your own!) which looks at the wartime "exploites" of Wilhelm Mohnke, who seemed to be linked to every LSSAH atrocity of the war, this one included (obviously). ISTR it also touches on atrocities by the allies, but I could be wrong.

Lol. I transferred to the RAPC from recce and was posted to a REME Workshop. My Div 2 Mil Acct (Staff Sergeant - himself a failed wannabee infantryman) was so dead proud that his team had a real soldier in its ranks (so real I spent more time on exercise with 12 Armoured Penal Kindergarten than I had ever done in 15/19H) instead of being composed entirely of shiny-bums, that he started a rumour that I was not in fact simply a Military Accountant ("Pay Clerk") but in fact a Combat Accountant. Worst thing was that the REEMs believed him.

Alien = Neil A backwards FTM is a footballing thing. If you know what it means, you know what it means; if you don't, think of it as a TRL (three random letters) like the random numbers some sites add to your chosen name to uniquetise it, except they are character, not numeric. In this case FTM has absolutely NOTHING whatever to do with transsexuality, other than unfortunate coincidence.

I am guessing you want to depict an RMP crew in a Landrover. 1. Wear a 58 pattern web belt with respirator bag on the left-hand side. That's it. If I had stayed longer in the RMP and gone on exercise, like everybody else, I wouldn't wear my webbing whilst sat in a vehicle, but being RMP, I might wear my respirator on my belt. If my personal weapon was an SMG, I might mount a left-hand magazine pouch as well. If my personal weapon was the alternative, a pistol, I'd certainly wear a belt with holster, an ammo pouch, respirator and optional water bottle if hot. If the theatre is hot, I might wear my water bottle pouch on the right-hand side. That's about as minimalist as I could get and balance wearing any webbing and being able to sit in the vehicle. In this case, have a full set of webbing (belt, yoke, two ammo pouches, water bottle pouch, kidney pouches, cape carrier containing Mark 3 NBC suit) made up to have handy in the event of prolonged periods dismounted. Note that this will mean you at least need two belts and three ammo pouches). Throw in a large pack full of spare shreddies, long johns, woolly pullies, etc and you are sorted. 2. Wear a web belt because the RMP would be expected to wear a belt and the sergeant major might not take kindly. Throw everything else in the back as described above. Don't forget a sleeping bag, some rations, a bivvy, etc.

Siamese twins?

I rest my case: 1. It does nothing to break up the shape of the Jeep (the whole purpose of camouflage). The sum total of the cam effect of what they have painted on there amount to two 6" or less Micky Mouse Ears on the side of the bonnet. "Strewth. Where did that Jeep go?" "No, I can still see you." The main distinguishing features, wheels and radiator grille have not been disguised in any way. From the side, it now looks like a black Jeep with wheel arches painted green and a thin green not-very-go-faster stripe along the side. 2/10 for common sense. Must do better. See me. If I had been issued a vehicle that looked like that I'd have repainted it on the spot and cursed the civvies who didn't have a clue about how cam works. I bet a politician thought this job up as a way to get people to think they were aiding the war effort. 2. It will make a renovator's Jeep look totally naff. You have been warned. ;o)

I can officially declare 34 (hex) as the age of senility. Of course it bliddy isn't. What was I thinking of? Is it not time for my medication, nurse?