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President Barack Obama visits a Glasgow hospital ..

He enters a ward whose patients have no obvious sign of injury or illness,


He greets one.


The patient replies,


"Fair fa your honest sonsie face,

Great chieftain o the puddin race,

Aboon them a ye take yer place,

Painch, tripe or thairm,

As langs me airm".


Obama is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient, who responds,


"Some hae meat an canna eat,

And some wad eat that want it,

But we hae meat an we can eat,

So let the Lord be thankit".


Even more confused, the President moves onto the next patient, who chants,


"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty,

O the panic in thy breasty,

Thou needna start awa sae hastie,

Wi bickering brattle"


Now seriously troubled, Obama turns to the accompanying doctor and asks,


"Is this a psychiatric ward?"


"No" replies the doctor, "this is the serious Burns unit".

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