My CV...

[minn200]

Morning folks if you have enjoyed reading my rebuild thread "Series 3 FFR restoration" you might enjoy the next stage of my rambling drivel "My CV".

 

This is something I started a while ago but didn't have the confidence to put out there if I am honest but after the response to the rebuild blog I figure what the hell I will see what folk think. So sit back grab a brew and see what you think as each entry is added then of course let me know either way best to be brutally honest you know!

 

What's this about?

 

My CV

Posted by min200 Thu, January 15, 2015 07:50:39

 

My CV.

 

Is a collection of the many colourful work positions I have held over my 41 years. I think you would struggle to find anyone else who has reinvented themselves as many times as I in the vain attempt to gain lawful employment!

 

My CV’s have boarded on the completely fictional and have let’s say somewhat exaggerated my skill set in certain areas, normally the ones that are required for the role I am applying for. If it needed A levels I had them, excellent GCSE results...no problem.

 

The only thing I have not had is a degree, I mean why would I want one? Have you seen the tools they kick out of University these days with a degree? They are ten a penny and now come in all colourful shapes and sizes such as the most coveted Degree in Popular music of the “noughties”...I mean what bloody use would that be to anyone? Nothing that’s what it’s just an excuse to have a three year piss up away from your parents chasing young women and hanging with your mates. Now don’t get me wrong because that is a bloody good plan but don’t insult the world by pretending it’s to gain a degree that’s not worth the paper it’s printed on. The government should re-class student loans for thesemickey mouse degrees to the “Take Three years out to get wasted and laid then do some real work to pay it back grants”.

 

There have been times that I have made my CV look so good that I have effectively forced myself out of the running after the first hurdle for being “over qualified” which just goes to prove a bit of bull**** can get you a long way in this world! I mean what sort of plank writes a fictional CV so good that he takes himself out of the running before the race has started? That dear reader would be me and I will go into greater detail as we plod along in the book.

 

Stick on a suit for any office or management role or a pair of work boots with a high viz and you can talk your way into any job from labourer to site foreman. It really isn’t that hard when you think about it as long as you do a bit of research on the role before you go in for an interview you can sound very convincing. Adding to that you make sure you are being perceived as confident and comfortable in what your chosen “profession” is and be armed with a few questions relating to the role that requires the information that would be seen as knowledgeable.

 

But all that sounds like the start to a self help novel of which this book is NOT going to be. It’s all going to be about me. About the way that I get bored really quickly with whatever I’m doing work wise. I know I have a short attention span because when I started writing this intro page I was 40 years old but I am now 41 so if each page takes this long I wont be done with it until I am 20 years past dead.

 

Anyway best get on with it so lets start with what was an acceptable practice back in the eighties (that’s the 1980’s for you young ones yes you lot that are currently pissed at Uni passing this around because buying one copy between 5 of you saved some beer tokens, most of the population were alive in the last century) child labour.