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Last couple of weeks of the B Sqn 15/19H UNFICYP tour of Cyprus 76 - 77, one evening one of the MT drivers managed to roll a Rover. Young lad in FHQ manning the command net, as soon as he heard this, could not help but broadcast "Hello all stations this is 2. Somebody rolled a Rover over, over."

 

The VP suggested he expected a reply, but of course he didn't get any. Those of us manning the radios in the out-stations at Larnaca, Ayios Nicolaos and Skouriotissa simply cracked up.

 

The Cypriot police tried to charge the driver with speeding at 115mph in an airportable.

 

That week, 4 Troop was in Larnaca. Our new troop leader, fresh out of the factory, had a buddy just posted to the Cyprus Armoured Car Squadron (C Sqn 15/19H) and decided on the middle Sunday that he wanted to take tea with his buddy in Episkopi. There could be no authorisation to use the troop Land Rover for this purpose and if the Work Ticket showed the journey, he'd be in trouble. The mileage on the work ticket had to add up to the mileage on the Land Rover, so he had the troop VMA (every troop in an out-station had a residential Vehicle Mechanic (Armoured Vehicles) - VMA - to keep the Ferrets running) disconnect the speedo so as not to clock up miles.

 

The troop MT driver (attached like the VMA) refused to be a party to this, so as troop leader's Ferret driver I was invited to drive. I had no hang-ups. Besides, it was a day out, see new places, meet new people (or old friends for those who had colleagues in C Sqn).

 

Half a dozen of us drove to Limassol. Right outside the entrance to the harbour was a fish restaurant, so we went in and asked for half a dozen portions of fish and chips. Guy looked blank: never heard of fish and chips. We explained. He offered us each a platter of all sorts of various fish (well Limassol did have a thriving fishing port, entrance next door, but sadly no deep-sea fish) including squid and octopus, and some veg. Wasn't the same as fish and chips though.

 

We took tea with C Sqn, very civilised, then headed back late into the evening. Near Kophinou, where the A5 to Larnaca branches off from the A1 between Limassol and Nicosia, there was a restaurant. We stopped for an evening meal. I always remembered describing mine as sirloin of dog with green salad tossed in OM13. For good measure, back in Tidworth I found myself admitted into the Medical Reception station at Tidworth with suspected dysentery. I have always blamed that restaurant.

 

So we got back to Larnaca and at this point Rommel (the troop leader) had the VM reattach the speedo and me refill the petrol tank. At this point he clicked that while the odometer might not display the his trip to Epi, the fuel record would show that his Land Rover had returned a ridiculously low mileage per gallon.

 

The final Squadron newspaper of the tour (B Squadron's nickname was - and remains in the Light Dragoons - the Guards, hence the newspaper's name, The Guard-UN) showed some interesting statistics regarding Land Rover speeds and MPGs that month.

 

---ooo0ooo---

 

btw, wrt the fire mission mp3. I found it interesting to hear the US take. So similar yet so different.

 

In our man's army, the voice procedure for a fire mission was different from other VP, mainly because you make an error, you drop short and kill the wrong people, hence the RA's nickname, the Dropshorts. Everything gets repeated back.

 

Format:

 

Where it is.

Its bearing from you (in mils).

What it is.

What you want doing to it.

When do you want it doing.

 

Thus it might go (based on one I initiated):

 

Hello Golf 11 this is Tango 24 fire mission over.

Golf 11 fire mission over.

Tango 24 fire mission grid 243678

six three zero zero

Company of mechanised infantry digging in on hillside

Destroy

When ready.

 

Golf 11 fire mission

grid 243678

six three zero zero

Company of mechanised infantry digging in on hillside

Destroy

When ready out

 

Hello Tango 24 this is Golf 11 not observed send corrections over.

(The RA troop realises they have nobody in a position to observe the fall of shot - can you do it please?)

 

Tango 24 not observed send corrections out.

(Pause while the Battery Commander does his sums and issues orders)

 

Hello Tango 24 this is Golf 11 one gun adjusting shot over

(They would normally fire three rounds of HE - no Willy Peter (white phosphorus as used in the clip) allowed any more by Geneva Convention - and the observer corrects based on the mean point of impact of the three rounds. But ammo is short, so only one gun will be adjusting, don't wait for the other two and hope you identify the correct round in the middle of the battle) (Oh and the round is in the air.)

 

Tango 24 one gun adjusting shot out

(Awaits the fall of shot - depends how far back the battery is)

 

Hello Golf 11 this is Tango 24 right 50 add 50 on target fire for effect over.

(Remember Golf 11 doesn't know where you are, you didn't tell him so he cannot get his grid references muddles and dump his load on you by mistake - a difference in protocol that causes grief whenever Brits ask US assets for support. All he has is your bearing from the target. So, based on YOUR bearing from the target only, not HIS bearing from the target, he calculates the corrections and passes them to the guns. Because of the size of the target and the closeness of the first shot, the observer tells him that after this correction he is quite happy with the aim: go ahead and snot them.)

 

Golf 11 right 50 add 50 on target fire for effect fire mission Uniform Tango niner seven four one over.

Tango 24 fire mission Uniform Tango 9741 out

(the fire mission was saved by the RA so that they could repeat it if requested)

(Pause)

 

Hello Tango 24 this is Golf 11 shot over

Tango 24 shot out

("Stand back and admire")

 

Hello Tango 24 this is Golf 11 rounds complete over.

Hello Golf 11 this is Tango 24 rounds complete repeat over

Golf 11 repeat out

(I have fired all the ammunition I consider necessary to achieve your goal.

I hear what you say, but I'd like another salvo to make sure please.)

 

Hello Golf 11 this is Tango 24 stop loading over.

Golf 11 stop loading out

(OK you were right, I don't need any more. Note that "stop loading" - don't bother loading any more but feel free to fire what's in the guns - is entirely different from "check firing" - you're dropping short or whatever, STOP FFS)

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The classic I heard was a very distraught 'The Rover's over, over!' :-D

Recorded for posterity by one of our chaps last year: [from memory, so made-up callsigns]

 

Charlie 4, this is Charlie 0, come in, over.

Charlie 0, Charlie 4, go ahead over.

[C0] Fetch Sunray over.

...loong pause...

[C4] Section right, out. (C4 misheard 'fetch the commanding officer' as 'realign mortar section 90 degrees'...not a good mistake to make!)

[C0] NO FETCH SUNRAY YOU DAFT BRUMMIE WEST MIDLANDS CONEHEAD IDIOT

[C4] Fetch Sunray, roger, out.

 

:rofl:

 

Stone

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I have a CD that I could burn a copy of, lasts about an hour with made up selections of Military Radio traffic with American, English, German, Japanese & Russian versions, or I could email the files, cheers Paul

 

Hello Paul can you send those files to

thijs-93@live.nl

 

That would be very nice of you, I am working on a WW2 Museum in the Netherlands with more people and would like to use your radio chatter for the german communication post, American and British. Thanks in advance

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Mike

 

Try you tube 'fire power demo salisbury plain' there is some stuff on there or failing that pay me large sums of money and will chat away all day being ex Royal Signals should be no problem :D

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Thanks to Joris you can now upload MP3 sound files to the forum... NO Copyright songs or soundtracks please....

 

I'll start of with this lot of WW2 chatter....

 

Awesome radio chatter!

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[C0] NO FETCH SUNRAY YOU DAFT BRUMMIE WEST MIDLANDS CONEHEAD IDIOT

 

OK, and now I'm making with the kitchen roll, having sprayed coffee, well, everywhere, really :nut::evil:

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The other classic, variously attributed

Station: I'm F*****G bored!

Master station: Station sending identify yourself immidiatley!

Station: I said I'm F****g bored, not F*****G stupid!:angel:

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Late spring about 1979. 15/19H got Clansman and would be guarding a river crossing over the Weser in the FTX in the autumn. Nobody knew how these newfangled sets would perform, so Command Troop decided to send out three Land Rovers and a Gazelle to set up and test comms over the distances involved.

 

We got up at early o'clock and the three FFRs set off. It was a marvellous warm sunny day. Dave P was commanding Zulu 9er (the CO's rover, but the CO wasn't in it, hence the Zulu prefix), I was commanding Zulu 9A (the 2IC's rover, ditto) and Micky B was commanding Zulu 39er (empty C Sqn Leader's rover). The Regimental Signals Officer, Captain Web-Belt would fly into the area by Gazelle after the FFRs had trekked across to the exercise area.

 

My driver was a young lad called Smudge (so you'll know he was Tpr Smith). He didn't like driving, so as well as manning the radio, I drove. I didn't mind driving at all, but I'd have preferred a Ferret.

 

We got about halfway out to the area. Z9 when off in another direction. Micky B pulled up in Z39 in a village and we agreed to RV there on the way back, so we could take the scenic route (past a pub or two) back home.

 

As we got ever closer to the Weser, it turned out that Smudge wasn't too hot at map reading either so there I was driving, headset on, map on the steering wheel. We were actually going to a slip way where the engineers would be putting in a bridge. Up went the 8m mast, we did everything we wanted and we headed back.

 

RVed with Z39. Micky said, "Pick a frequency. We can monitor our net and have a chatter net to ourselves." I chose 48MHz exactly. NObody would choose an exact Megahertz boundary for an operational net, would they?

 

We each tuned our second 353 to 48MHz and did a radio check. "Hello Zulu 39er this is Zulu 9 Alpha radio check over."

"Zulu 39er ok over."

"Zulu 9 Alpha okay out." End of. Then I let Smudge drive us home. All we had to do was follow Micky.

 

Not long after setting off, the B set squawked. "Hello Tango 24 this is Tango 23 over." Now I had been callsign 24 in an RAC regiment (who used Tango as their primary arm indicator) so I sat up.

 

Third Troop (B Sqn, hence 23) kept trying to get through to Fourth Troop, to no avail. The Control Signaller in me was pleased that T23 was doing everything so correctly, so I answered up to brighten his day. To yet another plaintive "Hello Tango 24 this is Tango 23 over" I replied, "Tango 24 send over."

 

"Tango 23 where have you BEEN? I have trying to get you for ages."

 

"Yes I know," I said to Smudge with a smile ... "errr Tango 24 I have been having transmit problems. All sorted now. Over" I began to get this feeling I was getting in over my head.

 

"Tango 23," he went on with a sigh, but pleased that somebody was talking to him (the net was otherwise totally silent as I'd expected: for a combat team command net it was far. far too quiet), "Is Molar at your location? Over"

 

"If only you but knew. Of course your SMQS is not with me. Why would he be?" Molar might have been the QM, but context suggested SQMS. Into the mike I replied. "Tango 24 no. Not seen over."

 

At about this point I think Tango 23 was beginning to wonder when Tango 24 had acquired an operator with a Pitmatic accent and he started to get suspicious. "Tango 23 roger. Send LocStat over"

 

Now I didn't have his codes and signals instructions cos I didn't really belong on his net, so I couldn't give him my Location State. Standard reply, "Tango 24 wait out." End of conversation until I got back to him.

 

At this point Micky B clicked that it wasn't just Smudge and me having a conversation over the net. His driver lit up his tyres as he brought Z39 to a halt. We pulled up behind them. Micky ran back and stuck his head in my window. "WTF are you two up to?"

 

"I set out to brighten a lonely RAC operator's day, but he is beyond help."

 

"Pick another frequency."

 

"60MHz. Surely we can't be unlucky and find another working net, on a 10Mhz boundary?"

 

We retuned, radio checked and set off again. At this point a Gazelle flew overhead, quite low. Concerned that this was Captain Web-Belt out loooking for us, Mick had his driver turn up a tree-covered lane. At the end of it we found a pub. Parked up, swift half and enjoy the journey home.

 

---ooo0ooo---

 

July 1978, Ex Summer Sales, a CPX, Command Post eXercise in which command posts from battlegroup (regiment / battalion) HQ right up to Corps played a war for real while combat team (Company / Squadron, etc) HQs input fictitious data without real troops on the ground. Because the Squadron Forward HQs - FHQs - were only feeding data into the system, they didn't deploy the whole FHQ and set up in a wood, just a single FFR with a driver and an officer.

 

At BGHQ, right at the bottom of the working stack, a CPX tended to be quiet unless we were actively involved, and so it was this particular morning. I was sat in a comfy folding chair next to the RSM's Ferret, 95 (his normal driver was away so I got volunteered - after all there was no need for the rebro Ferrets 98 and 98A so I had nothing better to do) having just finished breakfast, listening to the 3 Armd Div Command Net up and the BG Command Net down to the two notional Medium Recce Squadrons, B and C (A Sqn was Close Recce and detached to BGs).

 

A voice squawked, evidently on the BG Command Net. "I'm a happy teddy bear." A reply came back, "I'm a happy teddy bear too."

 

"Hello unknown stations this is 3. Stop acting up on the net. Out." Now it wasn't C Sqn Signals Sergeant's place (Hesh's voice was easily-enough recognised) to be bollicking people on the BG net, that was the right of the operator on stag in RHQ, ie us. But he was keen and a year or so later he was to take over as Regimental Signals Sergeant.

 

But nobody said anything to him. Until ... If you have ever heard the voice of a combat unit's Lieutenant Colonel Commanding Officer on the net, you'll know that his voice is unmistakeable.

 

The Colonel's unmistakeable voice came up on net. "OOooOOh he isn't a happy teddy bear, is he?"

 

Oh how we all larfed. Well it WAS a CPX and we were all so bo-o-ored. It was probably about this time that Big Lou (the RSM) shouted, "Trooper Alien, I'll have a cup of coffee. And make sure you purify it." So after I'd made us a brew, I got his bottle of Famous Grouse (aka "Bird") out of the applique side bin and purified our drinks. It could be so civilised at war. As somebody's signature block states on Arrse, "The purpose of cavalry in wartime is to bring style and panache to what would otherwise be just an ugly brawl."

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I have a CD that I could burn a copy of, lasts about an hour with made up selections of Military Radio traffic with American, English, German, Japanese & Russian versions, or I could email the files, cheers Paul

 

Hi all,

 

I know this may come of as a bit off-date. But I would be really interested in a copy or mails. Especially the US and british ones.

 

This is to bring life to a BC-1000a/SRC-300 radio set. Which will be adapted for using a portophone later this year. The files will be used as training material as well as to draw attention to the radio set, when the porto is not in use.

 

The british files will go to a mate who has a ws-38 set.

Edited by michielio

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The classic I heard was a very distraught 'The Rover's over, over!' :-D

 

Tony, Or was that, 'Send A Rover, Over, to Dover, Over!..................:cheesy:

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Tony, Or was that, 'Send A Rover, Over, to Dover, Over!..................:cheesy:

 

I'm not even going to try and explain it! :-D There was a case of an Essex traffic copper trying to explain how a Pakistani Pantectechnicon had plunged into a pond, but that never got translated as we were rolling around the floor.

Another classic that comes to mind is a salutary lesson on letting blondes near radios. When asked (Because she was out of sight!) over a two way radio 'Where are you now?' The reply, so innocent was 'I'm over here!'.

Edited by Tony B

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I had one of those on an exercise many years ago, a young RAF chap, when asked over the radio for his location replied "Umm, I'm in the back of the Land Rover". He had to be re-educated by the Regiment Corporal when they got back.

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I have a CD that I could burn a copy of, lasts about an hour with made up selections of Military Radio traffic with American, English, German, Japanese & Russian versions, or I could email the files, cheers Paul

 

I would be very interested in the files Paul, what is the best way to go about getting them from you? My E-Mail for offline contact is dodgem37@netspace.net.au

Thanks

 

Regards - Tony Eagling Vk7YBG

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On exercise with the RHA, we, Roger and myself in our 434, were sitting having a quiet cuppa in our nice quiet location, when the BSM came over the air to us that one of the subs, (guns), had a fault and we were to go and fix it.

I acknowledged his message and had a look at the map to see where the casualty was. From the map I could see I had two choices, on leaving our location I could turn left, over bumpy cross country, the shortest route, or turn right and travel down a nice level tarmac road, a fair bit longer. But we had all our beds and comfy kit set up, and did not fancy bumps much. So right it was.

Just after turning right the BSM`s voice was in my ear saying, in that gentle voice that all WO`s possess, "You are going the wrong way!"

I politely acknowledged him, and completely forgetting to change the mike switch to I/C, said "Rog, the bloody BSM has got his map upside down again!"

Back through the headset "No I haven`t, and guess who is on guard tonight!":-(

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It appears that the original poster who has the chatter isn't responding to requests. Too bad.

Can anyone else help out with these clips?

 

I've got the re-enactment season coming up. And the portophone working, but only a few miutes of MP3 chatter.

After a few hours, that starts to get :yawn:

 

For transferring the files I recommend wetransfer.com

It can handle up to 2 gb.

 

Thanx in advance

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It appears that the original poster who has the chatter isn't responding to requests. Too bad.

Can anyone else help out with these clips?

 

I've got the re-enactment season coming up. And the portophone working, but only a few miutes of MP3 chatter.

After a few hours, that starts to get :yawn:

 

For transferring the files I recommend wetransfer.com

It can handle up to 2 gb.

 

Thanx in advance

#

 

Without reading the whole thread, you after the WW2 stuff?

 

If so.......

 

And do a search or ask on G503 site as there were 3 clips available, one about mortar rounds being fired, spotting a tank and firing on it and one other I cant think of.

 

 

 

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#

 

Without reading the whole thread, you after the WW2 stuff?

 

If so.......

 

And do a search or ask on G503 site as there were 3 clips available, one about mortar rounds being fired, spotting a tank and firing on it and one other I cant think of.

 

 

 

 

Or just down load from HMVF http://hmvf.co.uk/forumvb/showthread.php?12379-Radio-Traffic-Chatter&p=132997#post132997

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I would be very interested in the files Paul, what is the best way to go about getting them from you? My E-Mail for offline contact is dodgem37@netspace.net.au

Thanks

 

Regards - Tony Eagling Vk7YBG

 

Thanks for the file Paul, much appreciated :D

 

Best Regards - MM :D

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I have a CD that I could burn a copy of, lasts about an hour with made up selections of Military Radio traffic with American, English, German, Japanese & Russian versions, or I could email the files, cheers Paul

 

Hi there. I would definetly be interested in listening to that CD>> Could you please share via Megaupload/ wetransfer or similar?

 

If you preffer to keep it private you could send it to pablovidaure@gmail.com

Edited by TokyoWarfare

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Resurrecting this old topic.

This link is not working anymore. Is there another site where I can download WW2 British army radio chatter? I have found a few very short radio recordings but 5 minutes or more would be very useful. 

http://www.joeri.net/radiofiles/

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