'what desperate/diabolical bodges did you use when your pride and joy broke down?

[gritineye]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Tony B]

But do annealed springs still work?

 

Actualy mine cheats. I was given a chore horse and a 1953 BSA equivelent. The points and magneto on the chore Horse were shot. Fourtunatley the plate from the BSA fits perfectly, so I fitted the magneto and plate from the later one and then all the early covers. Yur right though getting the carb balanced is a right :argh:

[Adam Elsdon]

When i was in the mob i made most of an exhaust for a TVR V8 350i, my mate couldnt afford a new system that month, so we found a bin that had a load of Tennents Lager cans, took the ends off and sliced them open, and nearly from the front of the car, right through to the "Y" splitter and out the rear covered it in beer cans and aluminium speed tape, it then got through an MOT and lasted for another 5 months before he replaced it! looked quite nice, shiney and silver, like something NASA would have on the Shuttle, it even sounded good!!:-D

[Tony B]

Had a real beaut today! the bus wouldn't go. Low oil' so OK fill it up!. Dip stick says fine, so off your little friend bimbles. 2 miles up the road, engine managment system goes into Chimp mode. 10 mph in the middle of London rush hour. Got the ***** back to the garage. Enginners decide to go high tech and plug the computer in. Oil pressure 16 psi. AH-HA!!! The dipstick is the wrong one, put more oil in! you couldn't make it up! :???

[gritineye]

The dipstick is the wrong one, put more oil in! you couldn't make it up! :???

A certain someone in the All Wheel Drive Club wrecked his new bogs dollocks racing engine twice for the same reason !

[Tony B]

I've also seen the opposite. Cleaners used to check fluid levels. So cleaning supervisor tells a cleaner put oil in till it stops, off he goes and starts filling the oil through the dip stick hole. When oil coming out the top of dipstick tube, OK all done. When the engine was started I've never heard anything like it. Sort of like a rusty waterwheel and a cat sitting on a redhot poker. When it was dragged into the workshop, a black plastic dustbin full of oil was drained out. Later that night a vehicle clearley marked 'Not to be moved' No reverse gear' was shunted against a wall front first, down a slope. The night watch engineer was doing his pices, very entertaining hearing him question the cleaning supervisors gentic descent. There was a recovery truck in the yard at the time, so the supervisor asked the driver could he winch the bus out. The guy said yes, except, I work winch, you pay £250. no chance! So the supervisor got all the cleaners, and tried pushing 6.7 tonnes of bus backwards up the slope. The night garage manager saw this on CCTV and came screaming out again questioning the Supervisors family background. At that point my sides were hurting so I went home. Following morning bus was in workshop, never saw that supervisor agin though.

[gritineye]

So your Reo is loosing engine oil from the rear crankshaft seal at such a rate that you almost used as much oil as Diesel on the way to W & P show from Cheshire. No problem for Steve :-D hope it worked it's a long way back!

 

 

 

 

 

 

:clap::clap:

[Guest catweazle (Banned Member)]

I think this one needs a special award.

[julezee001]

Not only environmentally sound but also good for the health of motorcyclists! An excellent bodge! 10/10

[gritineye]

Done :yay:

 

As it's a Darned Yankee REO, the board has decreed that a girly pink border is used :-D

 

Edited July 21, 2008 by gritineye

[Tony B]

Bow down before the masters!! :bow::bow::rotfl:

[Guest catweazle (Banned Member)]

Done :yay:

 

As it's a Damned Yankee REO, the board has decreed that a girly pink border is used :-D

 

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

It could be an absolute boon for L/Rover owners ,mind you it would need one each for the swivels,one for the handbrake drum,one for the vacum pump on tdi vehicles,one for the p/steering box,nah forget it.

[Tony B]

Next bulid a trailer with large tank and lots of pipes coming off. :cool2: I had an oil line blow on a bus yesterday, so going to take a copy of photo down to our 'Enginners'.

[gritineye]

I had an oil line blow on a bus yesterday, so going to take a copy of photo down to our 'Enginners'.

 

Careful, patent pending, and you can't see how the clever switch and the observation hole in the floor works.

Edited July 21, 2008 by gritineye

[Tony B]

So when are you apperaing on 'Dragon's den' Then?

[Grasshopper]

I had a bus driver rip the tap off an air tank once. Searching around in the gutter at the side of the road, i found a round looking stone. The driver was a smoker (as they all seem to be) so i removed the top of his fag box, and using that as packing, hammered the stone into the remnants of the drain tap. It sealed nicely, and we drove it to the garage, saving the cost of a recovery.

 

I have also driven a metrorider (horrible little midibus thing) a couple of miles using a bit of electrcial wire as the throttle, when the throttle cable snapped.

 

A more dodgy drive was the time I drove a routemaster back with a broken fuel pump governor, which meant the engine was on full revs the whole time. Got haome safely, and the engine lasted for many more years.

 

Used to carry a jerrycan of fuel and a long hose for getting vehicles home, and we also had the leads on our 24v battery boost pack made extra long so we could rig it from inside a bus to get it home in the event of an electrical faliure.

 

Oh the joys of (formerly) working for a small bus company.

 

Another time a header tank strap failed (tin worm), and the header tank started fouling a hydraulic cooling fan. I removed the drawstring from the drivers caot, and secured the header tank. It lasted like that for years.

 

I was a also a big fan of using beans tins for various things, such as exhaust repairs (the examiner commented that i needn't have left the label on), and for cutting up to use as shims for various things. Rice pudding tins work just as well, but its just not the same.

[Tony B]

Bit off topic but there wa a very high speed bump round here, if you hit it right knocked the bleed valve off the air resovoir, good for a couple of hours. Then the complaints built up so it has now been flattned. :cry: For the non busers, if the vehicle breacks down on a stand at the end of the trip, you can be asked to step back, that is take over the bus coming in behind so on till the vehicle is fixed or subbed. Does not make you popular with anyone. Advice I was given, pull the thing with your teeth if you have to, but get it off the stand if you brack down.

Edited July 22, 2008 by Tony B

[gritineye]

About time this thread was bumped, lots of new members must have a story, meanwhile:

 

Not so much a get you home fix, more like a get me to Beltring one....:sweat:

 

Lot of smoke and fumes said something wrong with the battery connections.

 

The culprit..yes, I know..:rolleyes:

 

 

 

Bit of spark erosion had taken place..:shake:

 

 

 

Lots of thinking came up with this plan..:idea:

 

First cut this shape from an ally can

 

 

 

Make a little tag to hold a bit of wire, this tag was not robust enough, second go was bigger..

 

 

 

Roll ally round the perfect terminal on another battery, check + or -, bind with wire and secure end..

 

 

 

Carefully remove mold

 

 

 

 

Place over carefully cleaned damaged post, cut a notch in the post if needed to allow the lead to flow down inside the mold..

 

 

 

Prepare a crucible..

 

 

 

Use any available heat source to melt some lead, this can be obtained by melting a couple of wheel weights or similar, but I happened to have some of my dads solder sticks in the shed (circa 1965 ish)

 

 

do this well away from batteries for obvious reasons!!

 

 

 

Quickly pour into mold, blurry pic to indicate speed...

 

 

 

Remove mold, have a looky, not bad for a first try.. cut more off post and warm it somehow next time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cut blob off top...

 

 

 

Fit new link bought at Beltring a couple of years ago especially to prevent this problem from occurring :red: :embarrassed:..all done in well under an hour, took longer to post this on here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Go to Beltring..:drive:

Edited July 17, 2011 by gritineye

[RattlesnakeBob]

now that there battery repair is a first class old fashioned proper engineering job !I don't think any young mechanic nowadays would even bother to think of such a repair....standard answer to that in 99% of garages these days would be

"Sorry mate you need a new battery ..yeah...£180 quid plus the VAT can't do anything with it sorry"

 

Repairs I have used ! hahah!

Windscreen wipers went on my Marina van on the way home one day...they'd wipe towards the drivers side but wouldn't go back the other way......used builders trowel thru the drivers window to give them a helping push back towards the passnger side.....

same van ..throttle cable broke one day...tied a length of builders line to the carb arm and threaded it back thru under the dashboard...pull string..engine revved up ..sorted !..

and the worst I am responsible for?....

same van.....already had an offer to sell the van to someone...but needed to MOT it for him...so ....filled the gaping rusty holes in the sills with bonding plaster, tidied it off neat with a trowel then applied a good thick coat of builders black bitumastic roof tar to the both sills......passed a treat and he used it for about 3 years after without touching it...even touched up the rear doors with Sandtex external wall paint for him!..

many years before that was out with a mate on our Gilera mopeds...about 20 miles from home and his died....so...the only towrope available was his Man Utd scarf....tied it to his forks and my rear shock absorber and got him home......mind you..his scarf was about 20 foot long by the end of the trip....

[CornishMade]

now that there battery repair is a first class old fashioned proper engineering job !I don't think any young mechanic nowadays would even bother to think of such a repair....standard answer to that in 99% of garages these days would be

"Sorry mate you need a new battery ..yeah...£180 quid plus the VAT can't do anything with it sorry"

 

Repairs I have used ! hahah!

Windscreen wipers went on my Marina van on the way home one day...they'd wipe towards the drivers side but wouldn't go back the other way......used builders trowel thru the drivers window to give them a helping push back towards the passnger side.....

same van ..throttle cable broke one day...tied a length of builders line to the carb arm and threaded it back thru under the dashboard...pull string..engine revved up ..sorted !..

and the worst I am responsible for?....

same van.....already had an offer to sell the van to someone...but needed to MOT it for him...so ....filled the gaping rusty holes in the sills with bonding plaster, tidied it off neat with a trowel then applied a good thick coat of builders black bitumastic roof tar to the both sills......passed a treat and he used it for about 3 years after without touching it...even touched up the rear doors with Sandtex external wall paint for him!..

many years before that was out with a mate on our Gilera mopeds...about 20 miles from home and his died....so...the only towrope available was his Man Utd scarf....tied it to his forks and my rear shock absorber and got him home......mind you..his scarf was about 20 foot long by the end of the trip....

Father has used an egg in a radiator before now as an extreme emergency measure, don't know exactly what you would call it, poached,boiled fried?!

[fesm_ndt]

Back in the old days when having a drink and driving was more the norm, a mate and I were travelling through some valley roads and the accelerator cable snapped on his TC Ford Cortina

 

I figured this out in whilst fumbling around under the bonnent

 

I chucked my leg over the wing and told him to stick it in drive and I cranked the throttle and then proceeded to drive around 15km's back to base. I remember when we got to base I nonchantly announced the vehicle id number as we passed through the gate.

 

My mate said he sobered up instantly as he had to just steer and was paranoid to touch the brakes, lest I fly off.

 

The daft things, I did when young :nut:, 'rebel without a clue'.

[Old Bill]

Not so much a get you home fix, more like a get me to Beltring one....:sweat:

 

Proper job! Have a good trip!

 

Steve

[daz76]

Front diff on the series 3 gave up on a tour of scotland. Removed the half shafts and front prop, packed the front hubs with grease and refitted the drive flange bolts with discs cut from a Frosties packet (theeey're Greeat!) underneath to hold the grease in. Drove even more slowly back to East Anglia no problems

Edited July 18, 2011 by daz76
missed word

[16svt]

A fair few years ago I borrowed a camper van from a friend to take the misses around Scotland. As soon as we left, I noticed that the fan belt was squealing. I did not worry to much and carried on. Next day I got under the van and tightened the belt as much possible, but it was almost at full adjustment. Did not think much more about it as the weather was good and we were only doing a few miles a day. That was until we started to come home on the last day. We left late and had some 350 miles to do, it was a Sunday and the weather was awful. Peeing down with rain. We had set off and everything seemed ok, but we had the lights, blower and wipers on. After an hour the charge light was hard on and it was obvious the van was using more power than the alternator was producing. I decided to turn the light off and use the wiper and blower as little as possible. This was fine until it started to get dark. I turned the light on and they were like candles. So with another 200 miles to do, I decided I had to do something.I pulled into the next services, but as the adjuster was already at its maximum adjustment and there was no way to get another belt, I had to come up with something clever. I looked through the van for anything that I may be able to use to help the situation and found bugger all. I only had an adjustable spanner, some grips and a screw driver and I did not even want to turn the engine off for fear it would not restart. I hunted around the van again in desperation and my eyes hit on a jar of Marmite. I grabbed a spoon and the Marmite, got under the still running van and spread the Marmite all over the fan Belt. Instantly the belt gripped and the lights brightened up. We drove that van back 200 miles like that with full lights, blower and wipers, it worked a treat. The only real affect was that every time we stopped and the engine started to idle, the hole van started to smell of twiglets.

 

The other one the worked quite well was in Christmas 1999, I had a diesel Fiesta. The very cold weather had frozen the engine and pushed a core plug out. I lived out in the sticks and did not fancy a 3 mile walk into town, so I grabbed a saw a set out around the garden with the core plug looking for a branch that was the correct diameter. When I found one, I cut a piece of it and hammered it into the engine, filled it with water and off we went. The repair was never replaced and that old car went on to do another 12000 miles until I scrapped it, still with the wooden core plug. in fact, it was only when I removed the engine that i had sold, that I remembered about the bodge.

[utt61]

Many years ago, when I was a student, I was driving a borrowed (yes, with the owner's consent!) Subaru of some type when the earth strap to the engine broke, leaving the core of the throttle cable as the only earth connection. At the time, of course, I didn't realise anything had happened, but after a brief stop, althought I was able to start the engine, the accelerator pedal was stuck solid (the plastic outer cable sheath had melted and glued itself to the wire inner).

 

Being a long way from home, this was a bit of a problem. In the end, I took a couple of bootlaces, tied them together, attached one end to the quadrant on the carburettor and then ran them in thought the passenger side window, creating a rudimentary hand throttle. I then drove the car a hundred or so miles back to the owner.

 

The only problem really was changing gear, since I had to get the passenger to operate the gear lever as I had both hands full. Fortunately the passenger caught on pretty quickly, even to the extent that we were double-declutching the downchanges by the time we completed the journey.