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Awful Items of British Army Clothing

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MOD used to issue MODPLOD and MGS with woolen trousers, then overnight conversion to polyester mix... three weeks later... back to wool! Polyster fire risk.

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South georgia.....rigid raider kit

 

Layer 1 normal kegs and socks

 

Layer2 longjohns and longsleeve green shirt

 

Layer3 RE Divers wooly bear ( a fetching green one piece romper suit for squadies)

 

Layer4 Quilty suit (optional) with sea boot socks

 

Layer5 RAF full body aircrew suit with fitted booties, headover, goggles and silly winter hat with ear muffs. wooly mit gortex outers.

 

could hardly move but by god you were warm and toastie even with a layer of ice on yer bonce.

Lots off crap kit but i suppose it had its uses

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Irember in 1985 when i reported for basic training receiving 2 pairs of combat high boots or boots cardboard that when laced correctly caused problems with my akles so was reissued with 2 pairs of DMS boota and a pair of short puttees lovley

Edited by loski

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I only expirienced 'issue' clothing whilst in the ATC in the early 70s...the shirts were ok and probably pure cotton but they all still had a detachable collar which was made out of specially hardened cardboard I reckon.....also the trousers could possibly have been made out of knitted brillo pads ...itchy was not the word I'd have used..a least not without an expletive in front of the word 'itchy'!..gawd knows who they were cut for but back in those days I had about a 26" waist and they were a good fit in the waist band but the crutch as someone said above, was about an inch above my knees and also I'd have needed a bum the size of a hippo to fill the back of them out....lord knows what shape of fella they were cut for.....the jacket was ok except when you got rained on and then we all smelt like wet dogs and they took forever to dry out... for some reason we had black boots with full hobnails on the sole and heel...rather akin to being on an ice rink even when it hadn't rained!:cheesy:

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If anything fitted you straight off the shelf,..............You were considered, deformed!......;)

Don't worry it/you will, shrink stretch, turn inside out, get fatter, thinner put on back to front or losse odd parts, then it will fit! :-D

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Don't worry it/you will, shrink stretch, turn inside out, get fatter, thinner put on back to front or losse odd parts, then it will fit! :-D

 

The term we were told was, 'You will grow into it Lad!'..............................:laugh:

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30 odd boys of 15 standing in a draughty shed on the edge of Shotley Point, in January. All as green as grass and wet behind the ears. At the shout of 'STRIP!!!!!' from the CPO everything off and dumped in a plie at your feet. 'EVERY **** THING OFF!!! is reinforced by the CPO. Then line up and start a treck down a line of tables, whilst the female stores staff look you over and throw various bits of clothing at you.AHH the joys of Boy Service. :D

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The KF shirts were definitely the worst for me. Mine, issued in 1965, were made in Belfast in 1942 according to the label. They must have had bales of them left over from the war. Being pretty skinny, they just hung on me like a sack. The cheap black PT plimsolls weren't up to much either. You could feel every little stone when you were running. When you think of the science that goes into designing running shoes now and compare. The most puzzling thing was the pimples on the boots, both ammo and DMS. If the army required the leather flat then why didn't they just order it that way? Save all the messing about with candles and spoons. One thing I was sorry to have to give back was my greatcoat, in 1972. In return we got a skimpy little green quilted thing, like you see now being worn by horsey people. I think it was officially a liner for your combat jacket.

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One thing I was sorry to have to give back was my greatcoat, in 1972.

 

Perhaps you should start a new thread, "Decent bits of Army clothing" :D

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The KF shirts were definitely the worst for me. Mine, issued in 1965, were made in Belfast in 1942 according to the label. They must have had bales of them left over from the war. Being pretty skinny, they just hung on me like a sack. The cheap black PT plimsolls weren't up to much either. You could feel every little stone when you were running. When you think of the science that goes into designing running shoes now and compare. The most puzzling thing was the pimples on the boots, both ammo and DMS. If the army required the leather flat then why didn't they just order it that way? Save all the messing about with candles and spoons. One thing I was sorry to have to give back was my greatcoat, in 1972. In return we got a skimpy little green quilted thing, like you see now being worn by horsey people. I think it was officially a liner for your combat jacket.

 

The sleeveless green nylon quilted "body warmer" was indeed the official replacement for the greatcoat, and was advertised as providing the same degree of warmth....hmmmmm having worn both at various times, I'd say the greatcoat was a winner (unless wet...when it became a great (weight) coat, that smelt of horse ****e)......

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The sleeveless green nylon quilted "body warmer" was indeed the official replacement for the greatcoat, and was advertised as providing the same degree of warmth....hmmmmm having worn both at various times, I'd say the greatcoat was a winner (unless wet...when it became a great (weight) coat, that smelt of horse ****e)......

Ah the smell, quite correct on scource. That would be the mordicant. :D The chinese fighting suit was inded de rigour amongst the country set at the time. The other name was Husky after the major manufacturer.

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Perhaps you should start a new thread, "Decent bits of Army clothing" :D

 

Nah, The Subject material would be too small!..............:cheesy:

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Alright then. How about Worst Meal You Were Ever Given. Leaving those sodding pilchards aside ( they were always there but I can never remember anyone taking any) here's my contribution: a boiled potato on a piece of dry toast.

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That which should only be spocken off , in a brightly lit room , whilst touching iron and making the signs to ward off evil......Cheese, Processed! :shocking:

 

 

Mind you, the old dried apple flakes mixed with Porridge instant. That was the way to start the day!

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I foubd the only way to 'Comfortably' eat 'Cheese Possesed'. Was on one of the issue 'Cardboard' crackers (Biscuits) with Strawberry jam on!............You were hungry a lot of the time between meals. So ANYTHING you could actually eat was used where possible.

 

Being with an attached workshops to all the units I was posted to. MOST times, we would find a location that was on a Farm.

This was so we could get a casualties (Vehicles) into a Barn & be able to work through the night if needed with lighting to repair them. A LOT easier than struggling in the dark, or using maked torches with red lenses! :-\

 

Being a German speaker, I AWAYS made a Point of getting to know the Farmer. This was a point of politeness, & made relations easier over a weekend. BUT, my oher reason was always to chat him up to see what i could obtain from him that was left over from the war! ;) (I have covered this before I recall) It was amazing what you could get from swapping Compo Rations that none of the other vehicle crews wanted! The Krauts seemed to LOVE the stuff! :-D

Happy Days!..........................:nut:

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Worst meal was on exercise at Honington, a cold fried egg banjo, from a "hotbox". Egg banjo had been made about three hours before!

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The old compo rations from the 1980's were a pretty mixed bag......in fact, on many occasions mixing the lot together was the only way to get any flavour......I can well remember chucking "bacon grill" (sort of Spam in a bean tin shape), "chicken supreme" (anything but), "chicken curry", "oatmeal block" (building block) AND "lemonade powder" into the mess tin.....I was so bloody cold and hungry at the time I would have eaten anything............mind you, I think I overdid it with the lemonade powder as I had damn dodgy guts for days afterwards........:-(

 

"Biscuits AB" and "Biscuits AB Fruit" weren't all that bad after a bit of soaking.....and the bacon grill on its own made a fairly decent burger if sliced...........best of all was the tinned steak or steak & kidney....good quality even if the contents were probably made in the 1950's......

 

And the only place you could still get Spangles !!! (the Army probably had a warehouse stacked to the ceiling with them)....although Woolworths did sell the things a few years later, probably part of a retro revival....

 

Remember the MoD issue loo roll ??? Greaseproof paper, brought to you from those fine people at the Mod.....Dangerous stuff with sharp edges (ouch).....every sheet marked "Government property" (why ??? Who would ever want to nick the stuff - unless of course your kids needed tracing paper for school....).......I am hesitant to even imagine the "trials" that must have taken place prior to the introduction of the stuff.......AND, it suddenly disappeared from Army use almost overnight......the MoD probably had another warehouse full of the stuff, no doubt sold on to some third world nation en-masse ..... :-)

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Biscuits fruit can keep you going quite happily. As for the bog roll, you can still get Izal (If you are to some funny habits!)

How did you know at least one Army vehicle had been into the motorway servicies? There wasn't a roll of soft toilet paper to be found in the place! :-D

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A lot of the bog paper was used in the sinks years ago because there were never any plugs. Izal was best for this because it was tougher than tissue. My brother was a national serviceman in 1956 and the plugs were missing everywhere then. My little green holdall turned up in my father's attic a couple of years ago. In it were my shaving kit, hussif, diggers, a steel mirror - and my personal plug. I couldn't speak for laughing when I saw it.

 

On the subject of the rations the army got right I'll say two words: oatmeal blocks. At endex, I was always on the lookout for stray tins. Don't know if they still have them now.

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Cheese 'Possessed' was the projectile of choice in front of 76mm blank - Severe b*ll*cking when someone was 'Slightly injured' when the distorted can ricocheted off the Saracen it was aimed at! :(

 

Not me, I must say, but I had been itching to 'Have a go' from my 'Sallycan'!

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Biscuits Brown: Survival food, place two packs in a sock and you can club anything to death. Wepon of choice on nitex.:-D

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On the subject of the rations the army got right I'll say two words: oatmeal blocks. At endex, I was always on the lookout for stray tins. Don't know if they still have them now.

 

Agreed 100%

 

The old compo rations from the 1980's were a pretty mixed bag......in fact, on many occasions mixing the lot together was the only way to get any flavour......I can well remember chucking "bacon grill" (sort of Spam in a bean tin shape), "chicken supreme" (anything but), "chicken curry", "oatmeal block" (building block) AND "lemonade powder" into the mess tin.....I was so bloody cold and hungry at the time I would have eaten anything............mind you, I think I overdid it with the lemonade powder as I had damn dodgy guts for days afterwards........:-(

 

"Biscuits AB" and "Biscuits AB Fruit" weren't all that bad after a bit of soaking.....and the bacon grill on its own made a fairly decent burger if sliced...........best of all was the tinned steak or steak & kidney....good quality even if the contents were probably made in the 1950's......

 

And the only place you could still get Spangles !!! (the Army probably had a warehouse stacked to the ceiling with them)....although Woolworths did sell the things a few years later, probably part of a retro revival....

 

 

 

Our cook used to take the rat packs - individual or 10 man - and dump the contents of the tins into dixies on a #1 burner together with a tub of curry powder. Other dixies of non-issue rice paid for by the Regiment were on the go beside it. All-in curry and rice was great!! :-D

 

 

That which should only be spocken off , in a brightly lit room , whilst touching iron and making the signs to ward off evil......Cheese, Processed!

 

Nothing wrong with cheese possessed - at least no until a fortnight after you stopped eating it!! :cool2: :cool2::cool2:

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Did you know the igredients for SPAM at the factory have to be kept in bulidings marked Hazourdous Material? :wow:

 

On the Modern ration front there is a really tasty Pork Ragout. The little boiled sweets have a tendency to go gooy and stick in the packets. The yeast extract is .....:pfrt: and there seems to be a secret MOD baked bean mine somewhere.

As for Cheese Pocessed, if you have a bit of old shoe lace sabout it makes a good emergrncy candle.

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Did you know the igredients for SPAM at the factory have to be kept in bulidings marked Hazourdous Material? :wow:

 

On the Modern ration front there is a really tasty Pork Ragout. The little boiled sweets have a tendency to go gooy and stick in the packets. The yeast extract is .....:pfrt: and there seems to be a secret MOD baked bean mine somewhere.

As for Cheese Pocessed, if you have a bit of old shoe lace sabout it makes a good emergrncy candle.

 

Ha Ha !!! Some good memories here on these posts !!!:D

 

I'd always heard that the good ol' compo rations were designed for a three day exercise and would stop you "going"......

 

Unfortunately, by day 4 all that stuff had to come out somewhere......

 

One of my mates dropped his '68 pattern strides to have a well-earned dump and only found out he'd missed the target when he went to pull 'em up, noticing a strange warm lumpy sensation within the lining.......

 

He wondered why nobody wanted to stag-on with him thereafter.....

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