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Awful Items of British Army Clothing


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The recent posts about the (awful) British Mark 5 tin hat made me remember (and laugh) at some of the other awful items of kit that were once issued (and suffered) by many, me included...! I wonder what other Forum enthusiasts recall about such things....?

 

"Shirt, Mans, Combat" - or "Shirt, Mans, Itchy/sandpaper/unbearable, etc".......whether khaki or green, the old hairy wool/nylon flannel KF shirt was just plain awful....especially in summer.....I remember putting my new ones in a bucket of 75/25 bleach and water in an attempt to burn away the hairyness........it did work, but also turned the shirt a rather peculiar light-grey colour......ah well, it made you look like an old sweat from the word go....

 

Then the heavy lined combat trousers ('68 pattern) that went all the way up to just under your armpits.....and still the crutch remained in line with your knees......any physical exercise usually resulted in the most unpleasant sweat rash around your upper inner thighs....ouch !!!

 

Puttees......never that good if you were late for parade in the morning......I cut mine down so that they only went round my ankles a couple of times for such situations (that occurred regularly after a session the night before)......

 

Peaked caps....why did they replace the leather sweatband with one made from vynil, that made your head sweat like never before.....?

 

Polyester knitted gloves.....guaranteed to prevent you gripping anything......

 

Waterproofs made from rubberised PVC.....great unless you moved your body...though better than the earlier nylon type that made you sound like a bin bag on the move.....

 

Nylon poncho.....never to be worn in a high wind....though otherwise great with a cigar for that Clint impression......

 

DMS boot insoles......made from hard plastic "shreddie" material, guaranteed to remove all dead skin from your feet within 5 yards......and perfect when worn with thick polyester knitted socks......athlete's foot - here I come !

 

Happy days......:D

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Then the heavy lined combat trousers ('68 pattern) that went all the way up to just under your armpits.....and still the crutch remained in line with your knees......any physical exercise usually resulted in the most unpleasant sweat rash around your upper inner thighs....ouch !!!

 

The cut wasn't improved in the 1975 ( ? ) pattern: it was only when the 1984/5 pattern came out that you could wear a pair of combat trousers comfortably without braces.

 

Lucky that for most of my career we wore lightweights de rigeur.

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Shirts,KF = Shirts, Itchy Blanket! Bloody Horrible to wear & shrank a little each time you washed them!

 

The much earlier brown ones were better IF, you could get your hands on them! They were a better wool material & If you shaved them with a razor to make them smoother. Were more comfortable in wear. In the field we used to wear jungle shirts which were cottern & MUCH more comfy! When I was attached the Para's, jungle shirts & OG Trousers (IF you could get 'em!) were the norm rather than the more flimsy Trousers,Lightweight. OGs could be taken off in the filed if wet with your boots still on your feet. Lightweights were not as gererously cut in the leg width & prevented this. An Impotant consideration in Combat! Keeping your boots on saved time & convienience. All Soldiers will remember how important is is to keep your boots on at all times. No matter how uncomfortable it may be when you wanted to sleep!

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The cut wasn't improved in the 1975 ( ? ) pattern: it was only when the 1984/5 pattern came out that you could wear a pair of combat trousers comfortably without braces.

 

Lucky that for most of my career we wore lightweights de rigeur.

 

The '84-85 pattern strides were a real improvement......shame the pockets fell off if you put anything heavy in them (eg: a handkerchief), and anything bulky inserted made you look like a German general.........

 

No '75 pattern trousers......although the material the '68 pattern was made from (100% cotton sateen) was replaced during 1977-78 by an improved cotton-modal fabric (70% cotton - 30% synthetic)........'68 pattern not replaced until 1984......

 

Happy days !!!!

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Shirts,KF = Shirts, Itchy Blanket! Bloody Horrible to wear & shrank a little each time you washed them!

 

The much earlier brown ones were better IF, you could get your hands on them! They were a better wool material & If you shaved them with a razor to make them smoother. Were more comfortable in wear. In the field we used to wear jungle shirts which were cottern & MUCH more comfy! When I was attached the Para's, jungle shirts & OG Trousers (IF you could get 'em!) were the norm rather than the more flimsy Trousers,Lightweight. OGs could be taken off in the filed if wet with your boots still on your feet. Lightweights were not as gererously cut in the leg width & prevented this. An Impotant consideration in Combat! Keeping your boots on saved time & convienience. All Soldiers will remember how important is is to keep your boots on at all times. No matter how uncomfortable it may be when you wanted to sleep!

 

The earlier brown-colour shirts were indeed far better, made from 100% wool-flannel (1964 pattern)......In 1970-71 the new pattern combat shirt was introduced, still in brown but now of a wool/nylon mix........during 1971-72 this was changed to green but still in the same fabric.......an awful combination....!

 

The lightweight trousers were good and of a superior fit, but 100% polyester so not as good as the older jungle-green trousers (cross-over belt style) or the green overall trousers.....interestingly, the last batches of the latter were made from the polyester material used in the lightweights....resulting in a baggy comfortable trouser but made from a useless non-fire retardant fabric......

 

Troops in Northern Ireland were banned from wearing these, and the lightweight tropical DPM trousers, because the polyester fabric would melt at the mearest sniff of a petrol bomb..........:(

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The woolen RAF trousers, and NBC overboots.

 

NBC boots....I'd forgotten about those bloody things....!!! Never quite mastered the technique to put them on and lace 'em up correctly............would still struggle nowadays....:D

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Having read the some of the replies, I can only conclude that I must be some kind of masochist. I loved the Shirt KF, never had a problem with any itchyness, and after a few washes they would starch up well for summer order. Quite liked the plastic boot insoles too!!

 

I do remember, as an apprentice at Chepstow (1976), wearing puttees, 37 pattern webbing, and combat trousers with room for two people at once.

 

There was a "genuine" Army Surplus shop in Bristol, which did a roaring trade as each new intake of Apprentices queued up to buy '58 pattern webbing, decent bergan, boot gaiters, ammo boots for parades, para smocks, and various other items known to be better than the issued kit.

 

Most hideous for me had to be the steel helmet, the Kevlar battle bowler was a real luxury

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Just had another thought, Blue P.T. Shorts. A real fashion icon

 

 

Some guy is selling these on Ebay and I always laugh to see the description.....'Blue army PT shorts, gay interest'

 

Clearly limiting his potential customer base!!

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Having read the some of the replies, I can only conclude that I must be some kind of masochist. I loved the Shirt KF, never had a problem with any itchyness, and after a few washes they would starch up well for summer order. Quite liked the plastic boot insoles too!!

 

 

ILL BET THE SHIRTS ACTUALLY FITTED YOU STRAIGHT OFF THE SHELF AS WELL!

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN DEFORMED! HA,HA! ;)

NOTHING FITTED CORRECTLY UNLESS YOU HAD IT TAYLORED TO TO FIT YOU PROPERLY! I OFTEN WONDER WHO DESIGNED THE KF SHIRT & WHAT HE THOUGHT A HUMAN TORSO LOOKED LIKE!

STRAIGHT SIDES & VERY WIDE, THEY WOULD ONLY FIT SOMEONE WHO HAD BEEN OUT OF THE ARMY A FEW YEARS & NO PT EACH WEEK TO KEEP THE WEIGHT OFF! LOL!

THE MUCH LATER GREEN COTTEN SHIRTS WERE UNBELIVEABLE LUXURY AFTER YEARS OF ENDURING THE 'SHIRTS, KF'! I AGREE THOUGH, A KF WOULD INDEED TAKE A GOOD SHARP CREASED IRONING WITH LOTS OF SPRAY STARCH!

 

THERE WAS A LOT OF 'IDIVIDUALISEM' GOING ON IN THE SERVICES, AS OLD SWEATS WILL ATTEST. THE SHAPING OF BERRY'S, THE TAYLORING OF SHIRTS, SEWN IN CREASES IN SHIRT SLEEVES AS WELL AS TROUSERS. THE WEARING OF OTHER SPECIALIST UNIT ISSUE EQUIPMENT. PARA SMOCKS ETC. THIS HAS BEEN PRETTY MUCH A MILITARY TRADITION AS LONG AS THE SERVICES HAVE BEEN FORMED. THERE WAS ALWASY SOMEONE WHO WANTED TO BE 'DIFFERENT', & STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD. STRANGE WHEN YOU CONSIDER ONE OF THE GOALS OF A UNIFORMED ORGANISATION. IS TO MAKE EVERYONE LOOK THE SAME!

I TOO AM GUILTY OF THE ABOVE 'CRIMES' OF WANTING TO BE SMART & STAND OUT & BE NOTICED (HELPS WITH PROMOTION PROSPECTS!) BUT....WATCH OUT FOR THE RSM, IF HE CATCHES YOU WITH ANYTHING 'NOT ISSUE', OR 'ALTERED' ON THE MONDAY MORNING MUSTER PARADE. WATCH OUT!!!............:undecided:

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Some guy is selling these on Ebay and I always laugh to see the description.....'Blue army PT shorts, gay interest'

 

Clearly limiting his potential customer base!!

 

Ha Ha !! I'd forgotten about those bloody awful things.....until now !!!!:shocked:

 

Two pairs were issued to the wide-eyed recruit, alongside (in the RAF) two T'shirts, one light blue and the other in white......you could guarantee that after the first PT beasting session some poor recruit would chuck the white one in the wash with the blue one and the navy-blue shorts......resulting in a bollocking and the first (of many) pay deductions to obtain another from stores.....

 

The shorts were dreadful......you looked like a relic from the eighth army in 'em.....the only way to get a decent image was to get a pair 5 sizes too small, and the T-shirts usually ended up stretching with the V-neck ending up at your navel......

 

The white plimsoll's were equally crap......the first cross-country expedition turning them a rather strange shade of brown.........:-D

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The woolly pully was another item that challenged the poor recruit......

 

I put mine in the communal washing machine in the block.....only to find some complete tosser had upped the temperature to "boil" during my absence.....my size 4 pully came out a size zero that would have been a tight fit on a gurkha......

 

Off I trudged to stores the next day.......I was confronted by a SAC storeman leering towards me, hands on the counter browsing a copy of Knave, and behind him a wall of new pullovers stacked from floor to ceiling........

 

SAC - "Yes, what do YOU want - I'm busy".....

Recruit Me - "I need a new pullover".....

SAC - "Sorry, we ain't got any.....now f**k off !".....

Recruit Me (seeing the huge stack of pullys behind him) - "Err.....ok..."

 

Pay docked the same day.....:embarrassed:

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Talking of recruits, I've just remembered the ridiculous dress code for recruits to the RAF at Swinderby during the early 1980's.......I recall that this was the standard wear for everyone in weeks 1 to 4, whilst you were waiting for issue of your blue-grey polyester No.2 dress trousers to be returned from tailoring......

 

You were required to wear a light blue shirt open-necked with a coloured towelling cravat depending on which particular flight you belonged to (AND you had to pay for this yourself !), topped with a blue-grey woolly pully.....over which you wore a blue-grey boiler suit ('cause you had NO trousers !!!), with DMS ankle boots with the overalls tucked INTO your black socks !!!!! This rubbish outfit was topped off with a '37 pattern web belt polished black and accompanied by a '37 small pack into which you carried your "recruit essentials" around with you.........on your head was a beret (always far too large) with a huge coloured plastic disc the size of a sideplate behind the badge............if it was wet, you wore (and never again after training !!!) an oversize blue-grey flashers mac......

 

Whoever thought up the above combination must have had a sense of humour.......

 

Weeks 4 to 6 weren't too bad, as trousers were issued and you also wore your SD cap....

 

Oh, the memories....:D

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The first patten NBC suit came in three bits you put it over your combats and had no pockets .I would also like to speak to the designer of the over boots no tread at all .Still it did make us laugh when you kept falling over .

 

Water proofs the MOD has never got that right it was better not to put them on and they had no resistance to water at all.

 

After 30 years I am still suffering from the effects of the burgan.

 

 

Its only when a war kicks off that eventually good equipment will be issued .

 

I think boots are still a problem had to buy my son a pair of Altburgs to go to Afganistan.

 

If you get the chance to buy the big black holdall the army issue dont it will fall apart

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The first patten NBC suit came in three bits you put it over your combats and had no pockets .I would also like to speak to the designer of the over boots no tread at all .Still it did make us laugh when you kept falling over .

 

Water proofs the MOD has never got that right it was better not to put them on and they had no resistance to water at all.

 

After 30 years I am still suffering from the effects of the burgan.

 

 

Its only when a war kicks off that eventually good equipment will be issued .

 

I think boots are still a problem had to buy my son a pair of Altburgs to go to Afganistan.

 

If you get the chance to buy the big black holdall the army issue dont it will fall apart

 

"Suit, NBC, Mark 1, Blotting Paper".......well that's what it appeared to be made from....? And why the detachable hood...??? Not the best way to reassure you about chemical and biological protection.......

I managed to put my boot straight through the knee of the trousers the first time I put them on in a hurry........told to use an "NBC suit repair kit" (that I didn't have nor had ever heard of) I ended up wrapping good ol' black gaffer tape around the leg........after 3 days of wear, much of the remainder of the suit was also "gaffered".......mind you, it was at least now partially waterproof....!

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"Suit, NBC, Mark 1, Blotting Paper".......well that's what it appeared to be made from....? And why the detachable hood...??? Not the best way to reassure you about chemical and biological protection.......

I managed to put my boot straight through the knee of the trousers the first time I put them on in a hurry........told to use an "NBC suit repair kit" (that I didn't have nor had ever heard of) I ended up wrapping good ol' black gaffer tape around the leg........after 3 days of wear, much of the remainder of the suit was also "gaffered".......mind you, it was at least now partially waterproof....!

 

 

Thier you go........i knew you were on the ball and read the manual, Suit, NBC, Repair. It is actually green gaffer tape. Designed so that in a real live event, your mates could watch with curiosity for when you began to twitch in a horrible manner! :cool2:

 

Whilst in this thread i really have no option but to mention the following :-

 

Underkegs, green, net, humungous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

 

Jhons, long, crotch defeating. ( when wet had this amazing capacity to deform to something else entirley) :shocked:

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Ha Ha !! I'd forgotten about those bloody awful things.....until now !!!!:shocked:

 

Two pairs were issued to the wide-eyed recruit, alongside (in the RAF) two T'shirts, one light blue and the other in white......you could guarantee that after the first PT beasting session some poor recruit would chuck the white one in the wash with the blue one and the navy-blue shorts......resulting in a bollocking and the first (of many) pay deductions to obtain another from stores.....

 

The shorts were dreadful......you looked like a relic from the eighth army in 'em.....the only way to get a decent image was to get a pair 5 sizes too small, and the T-shirts usually ended up stretching with the V-neck ending up at your navel......

 

The white plimsoll's were equally crap......the first cross-country expedition turning them a rather strange shade of brown.........:-D

 

Sorry to bring back bad memories..:-D:-D The Army issued one red and one white PT vest, but same rule seems to have applied 'cept the white one came out pink. Same result, P1954 down at the clothing store. Although some dodgy characters would nick someone elses good one from the drying room.

 

I believe they issue Hitec trainers nowadays instead of the awful plimsoles. Moving slightly up market

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[

Underkegs, green, net, humungous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

 

Jhons, long, crotch defeating. ( when wet had this amazing capacity to deform to something else entirley) :shocked:

 

Oh Yes! I had completely fogotten about the good old 'Drawers, Cellular' or as we used to call them. Drawers ,Dracula'! I never ever had 'The pleasure' of actually putting any of the three pairs we were issued on my Body! I used to use mine on Bullnights for cleaning the windows! They bought the glass up admirably!.....

 

In the Army our Plimpsoles were Black canvas. I was always amazed & felt sorry for any of the Prisoners in the cell at the unit when I was Guard Commander. They had to Bull (Sorry! HIGHLY POLISH!) these Pumps so they shone like best Boots! Have you ever TRIED to polish canvas to a HIGH state of shinyness? Scraped all the Paint of of the Polish tins & Polish the tin to a blinding shine also!

You have never seen Galvaised Dustbins Gleaming like they were chrome plated either! & Brass Topped WOMBAT 120mm Wooden (Heavy!) drill rounds, all brass fittings polished to an extreme state of Shiney!....Good fun watching 'The White Helmet Display Team' (Prisoners) running round the camp perimiter track carrying said rounds, first thing before N.A.F.F.I Break as well! (The Poor Sod's!)

 

As for the green long johns, Well, you havent lived till you have observed appox 20 plus squaddies getting in to these & pulling them up over thier arms & shoulders. So all you can see is Big Green Kermit the Frogs! 20 Guys all leaping along the wooden floored corridors in a race after afew Beers was Blimmin Hillarious! :cheesy: Oh Happy Days, where have they all gone?....Roll on Belters'', when the beer will flow, & so will the shared Memories........;)

 

Mike.

Edited by ferretfixer
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[

Underkegs, green, net, humungous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

 

Jhons, long, crotch defeating. ( when wet had this amazing capacity to deform to something else entirley) :shocked:

 

Oh Yes! I had completely fogotten about the good old 'Drawers, Cellular' or as we used to call them. Drawers ,Dracula'! I never ever had 'The pleasure' of actually putting any of the three pairs we were issued on my Body! I used to use mine on Bullnights for cleaning the windows! They bought the glass up admirably!.....

 

In the Army our Plimpsoles were Black canvas. I was always amazed & felt sorry for any of the Prisoners in the cell at the unit when I was Guard Commander. They had to Bull (Sorry! HIGHLY POLISH!) these Pumps so they shone like best Boots! Have you ever TRIED to polish canvas to a HIGH state of shinyness? Scraped all the Paint of of the Polish tins & Polish the tin to a blinding shine also!

You have never seen Galvaised Dustbins Gleaming like they were chrome plated either! & Brass Topped WOMBAT 120mm Wooden (Heavy!) drill rounds, all brass fittings polished to an extreme state of Shiney!....Good fun watching 'The White Helmet Display Team' (Prisoners) running round the camp perimiter track carrying said rounds, first thing before N.A.F.F.I Break as well! (The Poor Sod's!)

 

As for the green long johns, Well, you havent lived till you have observed appox 20 plus squaddies getting in to these & pulling them up over thier arms & shoulders. So all you can see is Big Green Kermit the Frogs! 20 Guys all leaping along the wooden floored corridors in a race after afew Beers was Blimmin Hillarious! :cheesy: Oh Happy Days, where have they all gone?....Roll on Belters'', when the beer will flow, & so will the shared Memories........;)

 

Mike.

 

"Drawers, Extreme Cold Weather. Olive Drab, Ridiculous"..........I did actually wear mine a few times, but the block communal washing machine managed to shrink them to a size liable to cause serious injury to your vitals......

 

Another poorly designed garment with a crutch that sat around your knees........

 

I ditched mine eventually, knicking some nylon stockings from the girlfriend.....:D....I did once try the quilted extreme cold weather trouser liners, but it made you feel (and look) like a mobile duvet......they also weren't cigarette-proof, and I managed to set fire to myself on one memorable exercise.........

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Troops in Northern Ireland were banned from wearing these, and the lightweight tropical DPM trousers, because the polyester fabric would melt at the mearest sniff of a petrol bomb..........:(

 

Not by my regiment. Day 1, I wore combats and realised I was alone. Rest of the tour, like everyone else, I wore lightweights.

 

On my NIRRT course (Northern Ireland Reinforcement Training Team) in-theatre in 1976, I was not alone wearing lightweights and nobody on the DS expressed any sort of opinion. I am quite sure if there were any sort of ruling on that score, it would have been brought up.

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The RN was still issuing that scratchy hairy battledress back in 1974. Luckily I never had to wear it. And we had the first issue of 5Js (woolly pullies) when no-one knew how to wear them. We started off wearing them tucked into trousers like the old-fashioned seaman's jumpers until someone noticed what the other services were doing!

 

Andy

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The Navy had them as well. Underwear, mens , cellular. By the time you put trousers on over the top the crutch was either, 1. Hangning out the bottom of each leg 2. Worn over the face as an anti mosquito sheild. Mind you the cells were so big what was supposed to be contained ended up trapped bettween two layers. :pfrt: Good old COTTON numer 8 with the smooth 'Jersey seaman's Heavy. Though actually they were of a Gurnersey style. B*** things to wear under shirts without long sleeved vest. Actually standard rifle of the R.N. was SMLE No 4 till 1970.

Edited by Tony B
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Not by my regiment. Day 1, I wore combats and realised I was alone. Rest of the tour, like everyone else, I wore lightweights.

 

On my NIRRT course (Northern Ireland Reinforcement Training Team) in-theatre in 1976, I was not alone wearing lightweights and nobody on the DS expressed any sort of opinion. I am quite sure if there were any sort of ruling on that score, it would have been brought up.

 

Must have been a RAF thing......we were banned from wearing them.....heavyweight combat trousers only....:embarrassed:

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